tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34905913519173304312024-02-20T00:53:19.374+00:00Diary of Mr GoldfishStephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-24175100729548494572017-05-01T00:02:00.002+01:002017-05-01T00:05:28.265+01:00Zombicide Survivors with Impairments - The Team (03)<audio controls="">
<source src="https://archive.org/download/zombicide3/zombicide3.mp3"></source>
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<a href="https://archive.org/download/zombicide3/zombicide3.mp3" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Downloadable MP3</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">For more on why I was inspired to create a Zombicide team of Survivors with impairments, <a href="http://mister-goldfish.blogspot.co.uk/2017/05/zombicide-survivors-with-impairments.html" target="_blank">read my first blog post in this series</a>.
For a description of the process I went through to come up with the appropriate rules, find the right miniatures and the steps I took to modify them, <a href="http://mister-goldfish.blogspot.co.uk/2017/05/zombicide-survivors-with-impairments_1.html" target="_blank">read my second blog post</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">To download full size versions of any of the ID or equipment cards on this page, please click on them for the Dropbox files.</span><br />
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And finally, please let me introduce you to the team...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEufeY_ONVWf5fMvYMfw9Ul1zbNHZOP5Q4owFYiFt4vMDG7t_swzbQmyco1dUuj72pM1e2A4u9HE7ReKDOcZVCdm0ct_ZhkLukFVgb5AcwH1ghqzleu7K1Tpk36dJM1ZkfUzeiAr4pzq0/s1600/group1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEufeY_ONVWf5fMvYMfw9Ul1zbNHZOP5Q4owFYiFt4vMDG7t_swzbQmyco1dUuj72pM1e2A4u9HE7ReKDOcZVCdm0ct_ZhkLukFVgb5AcwH1ghqzleu7K1Tpk36dJM1ZkfUzeiAr4pzq0/s400/group1.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Four miniature figures. From left to right - Susannah, a black woman in a wheelchair with a pistol - Moira, a white woman of older years with a headscarf and a shotgun - Anya, a young white woman with a purple mohican and red Doc Martens who is holding a baseball bat - Amir, a man of Desi origin, perhaps in his sixties holding a walking stick and revolver.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZjWrJptw2_30V5DdpM0NSWnlskVmpPvNEMRKRFp_VLwOZ1V-in5Zs9lxsGBVmYK2dRtL3Rj_EGGqWGWZG34GJq5SfsijZehTtg2ZQ2omH1Z3pdzquyqRlsm56pS5qs5OVj9z3TjfZfzc/s1600/group2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZjWrJptw2_30V5DdpM0NSWnlskVmpPvNEMRKRFp_VLwOZ1V-in5Zs9lxsGBVmYK2dRtL3Rj_EGGqWGWZG34GJq5SfsijZehTtg2ZQ2omH1Z3pdzquyqRlsm56pS5qs5OVj9z3TjfZfzc/s400/group2.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Four miniature figures. From left to right - Pupper, a brown dog of indeterminate breed - Neek, a brown skinned young woman wearing a purple dress and leather jacket holding a baseball bat over her head - Joules, a busty white woman of restricted growth wearing a white t-shirt and jeans and holding a P90 assault weapon with red laser sight - Vee, a person holding an AK47 assault rifle in their right hand, their left arm is a metal prosthetic.</td></tr>
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Need a tastefully restored German automobile? Before the apocalypse struck, you didn't have to look any further than Vee. Many a petrol-swilling land yacht were reborn under their spanner. But Vee's favourite was always the divine Volkswagen. Nothing could scupper that deep love – even after more than a tonne of Beetle came down on their arm. While recovering in hospital, doc's running through the “It isn't the end of the world” spiel, the actual end of the world came. But a bright person with all the mechanical knowledge in the world is more than a match for the walking dead. Vee fashioned a new arm from the innards of the car who took the original and they're now tougher than ever. Zombies lean in, expecting the sweet taste of bicep and come away with nothing more than a lick of premium engine oil.<br />
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/v0e27cx4t5mtg9p/IDvee.jpg?dl=0" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkD31h-sB8T_7XGTuhkdpWlbMaHQWsFpDamFeiWdMBBjnASXx1qiE8_0CrDh4DmQrne1X-nhUJ2td__1FNnD7wvL-qv5YuNvUMY0RwXTUkkNkTuFzte-HFEX75Xi4FsrRAA8r1gGEt6So/s400/IDvee.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Moira grew up with privilege and wealth. She played hide and seek amongst the Constables, her football pitch had been landscaped by Capability Brown and by the age of nine she was a crack-shot with a 12 bore. But she was never allowed to socialise with the other gentry spawn. Her parents were worried that her differences would mark them out as something less. And the more you have, the more you fear the loss of it. So Moira grew up lonely, listening deeply to the world around her, never understanding the people who did things so strangely whilst the best doctors were paid handsomely never to mention the word 'Autism'. Although some complain it's not easy to be around Moira, those people are now mostly Zombie chow, because Moira understands the way things are going better than anyone. And the old pile has a well stocked gun room.<br />
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/02ruzgyhv154162/IDmoira.jpg?dl=0" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_W-h2INiGhqyNyxfI7W-x_TZG64-KDxSAYIt2_kUuPIB7ChFV_gxzsOwwuynLtq3ZWNkaHQei0nEHsCU4_JShjIHXR6XcVdYPd_EfccKeJx1rq2QygCKbB2pcnQF5Ud8VPLxgiOOOvRA/s400/IDmoira.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Slight and pale, people underestimated Anya for years. Then she got sick and never recovered and what little respect was left disappeared on the breeze. But the thing is, the more you lose, the smarter you have to be with what you've got left. And Anya got really smart. When the zombies came, she'd already got a nice little stash of supplies around her. Not to mention a collection of contacts who appreciated having her tactical expertise around. It's true that she doesn't have much staying power for a fight, but she's a bedrock for her fellow survivors who become a whirlwind of Zombicidal carnage around her.<br />
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/ww59u7i2cffnmaj/IDanya.jpg?dl=0" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ9KlgXuh-QHnVgkUCTpIkz1peNoAg7p55LD9J7eqfYyN2mpk84Ne8JvGvbaNrJKrVGzZIxEm9d1x97zg4iZBwZjXl53F8A0tsx1F3ZuKFnhCO6nu7dw8h0Hy2iMszBcWT8fU6JVzMLrk/s400/IDanya.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Susannah's a bit of a mystery. No one's nosey enough to have asked what stopped her walking. She's certainly never bought it up. And you might think that having to wheel her around might put an abomination-sized dent in her popularity, but that's because you've not seen her with a firearm. Perched in that rather rickety wheelchair, Susannah becomes a pavement-based gun-ship. An astonishing number of clips and shells are stuffed down her rather frayed cushion and the chair handles are perfect racks on which to sling rifles and shotguns. For a laugh, Susannah once attached scythe blades to the rims. Which says everything you need to know about her sense of humour.
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/retq9mpaq9nrj2s/IDsusannah.jpg?dl=0" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzVBetweyT6VpnGgvnaIUslFVKKci3vtMyl-RYsTR3SzzFwvy6ak8vv2JSRq6lK3FCli7p_GkzWsTZf6LwcNPJ20jZLLyEFOefzjxFFa2rorOdGEm29Vj335K7qWdrBMpnoUNvxZA_z7k/s400/IDsusannah.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Neek's sight has been deteriorating ever since she was a kid. When the zombies came, she struggled, listening to groans (and screams) in the dark. Thankfully, she was in the hospital at the time and met up with Vee. The pair looked after each other for several weeks – Neek a strong arm for Vee, Vee sharp eyes for Neek. But then, one evening, Neek heard a whimpering outside the garage. They obviously weren't the only ones to have survived the apocalypse. Neek and her Pupper bonded almost instantly. Together they're a deadly combination. Other survivors use dogs in this bleak new world, but none of them are so efficient a team. Neek and Pupper have been known to fell entire herds of the living dead. Do not underestimate them.<br />
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/23ojpsjb9k9y37d/IDneek.jpg?dl=0" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwrkcPjoIcGMbP5w_j3aBLuem8uxztRl_kaKSZZ4HXQ7Skr_l8F4RxUru5A2n1aePNdmBo5klUG2Uo5hEWHOzBOrfzAECEijzBa6QjJu9KFFW_J__4GEsnt1wqw1FLJjlt0CwCnvOnn0c/s400/IDneek.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Amir had a tricky life before the zombies came. He suffered through the racist idiots of his youth only to see the whole ridiculous mess coming around again in his later years. After the second note through his door requesting that he go back to where he came from (and, really, who wants to go back to Slough?) it was almost a relief to see the dead come back to life. Sure they wanted to eat his brains out through his face, but at least they didn't care about the colour of his skin. And after a lonely few years after the death of his wife and the inescapable spectre of his declining health, he suddenly found a group of survivors to call friends. Maybe even family. Now he wades into the fray with 'Old Faithful' – his walking stick whose squidgy rubber ferrule he removed in favour of a sharpened steel point. With a lucky jab he's been known to take down even the angriest Berserker Abominations. Never underestimate a walking stick.<br />
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/6okqgjum28wjsi0/IDamir.jpg?dl=0" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd0TGoB5MWhj51Hovy6KQdn8Sbx6bpy5NioKmGNx8WRvwNTm9pbHnDTsXvL_H1W9SWPInbWU710SZMw8Dmc7zeNLbWqasj-CcArUjqFmHqNDoto77mq-YABjbOopIVhqp49kgbCKuhFpM/s400/IDamir.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Joules is a survivalist at heart. She knew that the worst was coming and, like all the best people, worked out a plan. And part of that plan was moving right next to a military base with surprisingly lax security. When the sirens were blaring and people were dying, she made her way to the armoury and procured for herself a rather nifty bag of tricks. Of course, every survivor knows that you can't just blow away every gnawing monster of doom. Stealth and slipperiness are at least as important. And growing up with a very visible disability, Joules has an instinct for making herself invisible as possible. Many's the time when an entire herd of walkers have passed her by, or she's waded into the fray knowing that she can slip back out at a moment's notice.<br />
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/m04l78qn5qf24tv/IDjoules.jpg?dl=0" target="_blank"><span id="goog_1350828697"></span><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBZwSkDQZxUAtFNmyUKnusXVUvk15LDwjCeeZFCtufUbQ1x04B0pQL0Nq6qdqK-AYDkDeGaVslTWesV2K4rMDqyEi0tTPF2gcyTX_twu65lOcpehxnEvBelO-GWJDQD3DO2c1DdQqebi4/s400/IDjoules.jpg" width="400" /></a><span id="goog_1350828698"></span></div>
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<b>Skills </b><br />
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Blind: A survivor with visual impairment only ever hits with a ranged attack on the roll of a 6. Range is only ever 0-1 even if the original ranged weapon has a higher range to begin with.<br />
<i>Possible addendum to this skill – a person with the Blind skill can only move when they have a Guide Dog or Companion in the square with them. </i><br />
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<b>Equipment
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/qxnz1517shq4wb0/pupper.jpg?dl=0" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJFSVJdfX7yIrpLSKFUw3JYAQ3KOZdmjSlO6bLYKo4inWQQny25xxe4SL4wPc5vqg7YVOwZg2_Cp1a2GZAy7Z0Xv3DbRlA7WDxNDSb4o8sD-5dqIG93NkAJbFFOVe5dol_ubEtjbC-HpY/s320/pupper.jpg" width="232" /></a></div>
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<img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBUsTpLmzLStuKm62PEvJPmft6uBkjr0akRshyphenhyphenmx_Dx7xxE6HhWfgROGJmvTthr-VrGnnYtgy_wxCymEpfVCb9psY6K1ucH-bTuSrXRjOuTohQomFjpH1b1LF1pd-CZT4e6UFZLD3GS1w/s320/oldfaithful.jpg" width="209" /></div>
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/mt7jpory8oq2ito/wheelchair.jpg?dl=0" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Fn7t5CMq0JiZrBcI_BmBaMviP7dNvks-kxUzC0RItTow1pChZDLeXIjT0h3diPXpBKBY_xSVhhDrzXnmOB3kSFo7y4952Dx97ZEK3m9I1ZYUF3o2qmWTbGXF2ySKqTMOhruPEEo7wB8/s320/wheelchair.jpg" width="209" /></a></div>
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Thank you for reading and enjoy yourselves!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7T4xJkom6koC308WrPnMWjFZPfGhptQOXO27Cm6hDE-Jc6E7cn-2OLiXLBosCnBNveWOvlKgJT_znWyhVVImG27zuxllzDHCorVxfd5IrvitrHEPC2-nyldP6N4RXuzeO6F_8Nbr1Uv8/s1600/IMG_3455.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7T4xJkom6koC308WrPnMWjFZPfGhptQOXO27Cm6hDE-Jc6E7cn-2OLiXLBosCnBNveWOvlKgJT_znWyhVVImG27zuxllzDHCorVxfd5IrvitrHEPC2-nyldP6N4RXuzeO6F_8Nbr1Uv8/s400/IMG_3455.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A black woman in and wheelchair and an older woman with a shotgun face<br />
down three zombies.</td></tr>
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Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-52986909940949948022017-05-01T00:02:00.001+01:002017-05-01T00:04:31.278+01:00Zombicide Survivors with Impairments - Creation (02)<audio controls="">
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<a href="https://archive.org/download/zombicide2/zombicide2.mp3" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Downloadable MP3</span></a><br />
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<a href="http://mister-goldfish.blogspot.co.uk/2017/05/zombicide-survivors-with-impairments.html" target="_blank">As I mentioned in my previous post</a>, Zombicide is a game in which characters have 'skills'. With every zombie kill or objective achieved a character gains experience. At certain levels of experience, new skills are unlocked. These can be as simple as gaining one additional 'action' per turn to something as complicated as being able to influence the order in which zombies spawn each phase. There is a great list of skills you can choose from when creating a character and, of course, you can make up your own.
The problem with making up your own skills in this context is that I wanted my survivors to fit into the existing universe as smoothly as possible. I will be sharing all the appropriate material in the final (third) blog post so that anyone with a copy of Zombicide can play with them. Making that as easy as possible is important to me.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnIT1svOk8DRd0IO65qLqzJDSAA7J_V-HlQ_pWCSL7jMyddLi6AqGB6y_y5AmoMzjViBqhPgAa8UcOZeDYee8vEWAUigZJrZc_P4g5K5OM8ZYaGyhijJx7HXnDjSJBeJld-RtMImFIGxg/s1600/ruemorgue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnIT1svOk8DRd0IO65qLqzJDSAA7J_V-HlQ_pWCSL7jMyddLi6AqGB6y_y5AmoMzjViBqhPgAa8UcOZeDYee8vEWAUigZJrZc_P4g5K5OM8ZYaGyhijJx7HXnDjSJBeJld-RtMImFIGxg/s320/ruemorgue.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The box artwork from Zombicide: Rue Morgue.<br />
A diverse group of survivors fighting the undead.</td></tr>
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I also wanted to show that people with impairments also have skills, but I didn't want to fall into the trap <a href="http://analoggamestudies.org/2015/02/reimagining-disability-in-role-playing-games/" target="_blank">Elsa S. Henry describes when 'flaws' just become a point balancing system</a>. I didn't want to create the world's most dangerous wizard and then <i>literally</i> 'handicap' him with a dodgy leg.
So my survivors have quite a mix of impairments and strengths.<br />
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I also wanted them to be diverse in other ways. In Rue Morgue, the cast of 12 survivors are an equal split of men and women. This is brilliant – many dungeon crawlers come with a male dwarf, male wizard, male human and lovely lady elf archer. The equal mix of Rue Morgue helps to guard against lazy stereotyping. But I wanted to turn things on their head, so my team of survivors is almost exclusively female. And they all feel like people who would genuinely survive a tragedy. I also have one male character (an older bloke who has survived years of being male and so has a good chance of surviving the living dead) and one gender non-binary person.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI5J_Zh-QVVboqv5OFarXafohK9deWSpG01Qsk1OvA_9pBHczv2eX0W5PuiYbjj1iPmpThVAlt4LKIlGxUpVn9OO0FAgKjS1-tGruslD8sC_vvUNgLrSj8ZpShY70PmoJEz0A9O52-Yag/s1600/wp1220_SurvivorSkin_1280x128016.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI5J_Zh-QVVboqv5OFarXafohK9deWSpG01Qsk1OvA_9pBHczv2eX0W5PuiYbjj1iPmpThVAlt4LKIlGxUpVn9OO0FAgKjS1-tGruslD8sC_vvUNgLrSj8ZpShY70PmoJEz0A9O52-Yag/s320/wp1220_SurvivorSkin_1280x128016.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A bottle of peachy-coloured acrylic paint by <br />
Army Painter called 'Survivor Skin'</td></tr>
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I have also done my best to provide a cast of characters who are relatively racially diverse. I've already mentioned that Rue Morgue does make an attempt at racial diversity (although could do better), but the official Zombicide acrylics by Army Painter perpetuate one of the problems with miniature figures. In the box there is a paint called Survivor Skin. It is a peachy colour which, when washed and then highlighted comes out a bright Caucasian. I've had to use Dirt Splatter and Bone Spikes in order to create a proper range of skin-tones. But the association between 'skin tone paint' and white skin must be a bit galling to anyone who wants to be a part of this hobby but doesn't match that mould.<br />
<br />
My dream team would not be possible without the appropriate miniatures. Yes, you could get away with making counters or card printouts on bases. But one of the things I love about Zombicide are the figures. They're fun to paint and look great on the beautiful map artwork. So I went searching. It's extremely difficult to find characters with impairments. I had in mind a list of possible conditions and spent a lot of time trawling websites. I eventually settled on Hasslefree Minis. Their figures are notably more diverse and realistic in body shape than any other suppliers I found. I was particularly impressed by depictions of women and race. Of course, there are a fair share of shapely naked ladies, but there are also naked men, relatively heavy women, children and older people. I worked my way through my list and found appropriate models for almost all of them. Some would need modification – something I'd not done before – but that only added to the fun.<br />
<br />
So, we come to my list of impairments.
I didn't want my characters to have acquired their impairments during the apocalypse. The idea was that they had survived in large part because of the skills they'd accumulated in life before zombies, which had been shaped somewhat by disability. Some would have more limitations than others. But as a group they would be survivors.
<br />
<br />
So we have;<br />
<ul>
<li>A person with visual impairment </li>
<li>A person with autism </li>
<li>A walking stick user </li>
<li>A wheelchair user (who cannot self propel – more on that later) </li>
<li>A person of restricted growth </li>
<li>An amputee </li>
<li>A person with chronic illness </li>
</ul>
I'd like to talk about the rules I chose for these survivors.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Visual Impairment</i><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzL7zo-WC_e_fPfevNjKj1sdThIBLAWJ198Wj3peWUBfY6YbUtwp3RmC2kjTr0qKcB8TLr0XBzP3QPuvSZXGOliLFjhRj5GSHn4wYyrW3Vk87Nt_SnmlUt6OEXXs-tVwkv1VejmVmUea4/s1600/IMG_3458.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzL7zo-WC_e_fPfevNjKj1sdThIBLAWJ198Wj3peWUBfY6YbUtwp3RmC2kjTr0qKcB8TLr0XBzP3QPuvSZXGOliLFjhRj5GSHn4wYyrW3Vk87Nt_SnmlUt6OEXXs-tVwkv1VejmVmUea4/s320/IMG_3458.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A woman and her dog face down an<br />
approaching trio of zombies.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I've already mentioned in my previous post the 'blind' rules of Warhammer 40k. I pondered simply not allowing a survivor with a visual impairment to use ranged weapons. But that seemed foolish given the circumstances – if you were to not have much vision but could hear the hoard approaching, it'd be worth shooting in their general direction on the off-chance. So for my special blind rule, I have gone with exactly the same modifier as Games Workshop – any ranged weapon used by a person with a visual impairment only hits on the roll of a 6. What's more, I've also included a range modifier – even if using a weapon with a longer range, it can only ever hit a model in an adjacent square.<br />
<br />
I believe that this ruling makes sense when the character has long term problems with their vision – a sudden blinding would be much more of a problem.<br />
<br />
I'd like to think that the biggest defining characteristic of our visually impaired survivor is that they come with a guide dog and an additional dog action. <a href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjZr5qlw8rTAhVrJcAKHbkLAwgQFggnMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fzombicide.com%2Fdl%2Frules-dog-companions.pdf&usg=AFQjCNHE4jC9diyVoE1lhUtfn5-OYp_a_Q&sig2=0cNV0wimN9FWmj6zmCee_A" target="_blank">Dogs were introduced in a separate Zombicide box as companions to main characters</a>, offering survivors additional attacks whilst also being a very mobile unit who can easily travel through zombies to search and retrieve. I think this should give our character not only some early on close combat ability, but also the chance to move forward, quickly grabbing objectives.<br />
<br />
I had considered including a rule to say that she could not move without having the dog with her. As we play test, I'll see if that should be included.<br />
<br />
<i>Autism</i><br />
<br />
I was very conscious when it came to our autistic character that I didn't want to provide them with 'magical' abilities. However, most of the autistic people I've known have been very good at recognising the way the world is going. So their skill tree is all about the more cerebral route to winning. They come with the Zombie Link skill which allows them an extra turn if zombies get an extra turn. This is always a very dangerous point in the game and it's easy to be overwhelmed. Our autistic hero, therefore, is always on the lookout and ready to deal with the hoards as they rush in.<br />
<br />
<i>Walking Stick user</i><br />
<br />
When I first started using a walking stick, I comforted myself with the idea that I was now carrying what amounts to a significant weapon in public in an entirely socially acceptable way. My user cannot move without the walking stick in his hand, which precludes the ability to 'dual-wield' weapons and move. There is also the possibility that a zombie might grab the stick from him and leave him immobile. However, his walking stick is a special piece of equipment. It has the same stats as a baseball bat but with the caveat that, on the roll of a 6, the damage it inflicts is much greater. This is meant to simulate a sharpened point replacing the ferrule and the survivor stabbing it through a vulnerable part of the zombie. As such, even as the group start a game, they have the possibility of dealing with all but the most powerful zombie - the A-Bomb Abomination.<br />
<br />
<i>Wheelchair user</i><br />
<br />
This was my biggest modelling task and I was very pleased with the result. The wheelchair imparts the survivor with the hoarder skill (effectively allowing them to carry an additional item of equipment (other wheelchair users may know how easy it is to become a living shopping trolley) and webbing skill (meaning that any item of equipment they have is effectively close to hand and so can be used without swapping around your inventory). However, they cannot self propel. I envisioned this character becoming a mobile gun emplacement and her skill tree rather encourages this style of play. Working in tandem with another player, they could very quickly cut down on large numbers of zombies.<br />
<br />
<i>Amputee</i><br />
<br />
My amputee character is the 'toughest' of them all – a very physical fighter who, thanks to the prosthesis is very hard to kill. My idea was that the prosthetic arm would be a distraction to zombies – they would try to bite a part of her that was completely invulnerable. Obviously she cannot hold weapons in this arm – I didn't want to go for the Ash from the Evil Dead chainsaw look. But I believe her combat-based skill tree will more than make up for that.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/kwl/4786369715" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="Will you be ready..."><img alt="Will you be ready..." height="332" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4099/4786369715_2e92a0daee.jpg" width="500" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A lego rendition of Ash from the Evil Dead film series. A yellow lego figure with a pistol in one hand and a chainsaw sort of in the other (in the film it's strapped to the arm because his hand has been amputated) and a grey zombie lego figure lying at the other figure's feet. He has been cut in half and red lego viscera is on the floor. It is covered by a <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" target="_blank">Creative Commons Licence</a> and was photographed by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/kwl/" target="_blank">Kenny Louie</a>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>
<br />
<i>Chronic Illness</i><br />
<br />
This impairment is the biggest departure from the standard skill tree of other survivors. In general, the game sees survivors becoming more and more dangerous as the experience builds. It's a kind of blood-lust, I guess – people building up a murderous steam as they fight. But our chronically ill survivor easily flags as the game progresses. Where everyone else is gaining an action, she loses one. And her ability to hit zombies reduces beyond that. She has the potential to be quite a liability – a position I very much recognise in myself (and in the way that disablist society talks about people like me). However, the truth is that people who lack capacity in general learn how to organise things as efficiently as possible. In that way, she's able to impart three additional actions to the survivors around her. We will see if she ends up getting left behind, but hopefully working as a team they can all survive together.<br />
<br />
<i>Person of restricted growth</i><br />
<br />
I have worried about this survivor more than any others. I honestly believe that among people with physical impairments, people of restricted growth are some of the most badly effected by disablist attitudes. Jokes are still widely acceptable and, thanks to the conventions of the fantasy genre, 'dwarfs' are a mainstay of many wargames, boardgames and RPGs. I really struggled to find an appropriate miniature I was at all happy with and I felt that I did as good as I could. However, being a busty lady with a tight top, the character still feels rather more sexualised than I'd like. I also worried that my skill selection might make the character seem rather magical in their ability to bypass threats because of their diminutive stature. Because of this, I'm rather keen to introduce the special P90 assault weapon the miniature is modelled with as a piece of equipment. This weapon might encourage a slightly more mainstream style of play. I think playtesting will be very important here. I suspect it will be a piece of equipment the team have to fight to discover (or rediscover as the case may be).<br />
<br />
I also plan to include wheelchairs in some games. They would naturally be found in hospital settings and might prove helpful to characters like the walking stick user and the person with chronic illness.
<br />
<br />
<b>Resources</b><br />
<br />
I'd just like to take a little time to list the resources I used in the practical creation of my team of survivors. As previously mentioned, the miniatures came from <a href="http://www.hfminis.co.uk/" target="_blank">Hasslefree Minis</a> [nude miniatures are featured on this website].
I will link to the individual miniatures I used
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=clint~hfa127&category=modern-%26%0D%0Apost%252dapoc~modern-adventurers" target="_blank">Amir – Walking Stick User</a><br />
<a href="http://www.hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=destiny~hfa074&category=modern-%26%0D%0Apost%252dapoc~modern-adventurers" target="_blank">Susannah – Wheelchair User</a><br />
<a href="http://www.hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=jynx~hfa154&category=modern-%26%0D%0Apost%252dapoc~modern-adventurers" target="_blank">Neek – Visually Impaired Person</a><br />
<a href="http://www.hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=joanne~hfa153&category=modern-%26%0D%0Apost%252dapoc~modern-adventurers" target="_blank">Anya - Chronically Ill Person</a><br />
<a href="http://www.hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=foxtrot-multi-%282%29~hfa157b&category=modern-%26%0D%0Apost%252dapoc~modern-adventurers" target="_blank">Vee – Amputee</a><br />
<a href="http://www.hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=madge~hfa022&category=modern-%26%0D%0Apost%252dapoc~modern-adventurers" target="_blank">Moira – Autistic Person</a><br />
<a href="http://www.hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=pilot-hayden-%28resin%29~hfg403b&category=sci%252dfi-%26%0D%0Aweird-war~grymn-command" target="_blank">Joules – Person of Restricted Growth</a><br />
<br />
In addition to these, I also used the <a href="http://www.hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=zombie-hunter-weapons-%28a%29~hfl004&category=modern-%26%0D%0Apost%252dapoc~modern-adventurers" target="_blank">Hasslefree Mini weapons sprue</a><br />
<br />
I spent a lot of time looking for wheelchair users. Most were either steampunkified or rather ridiculous and inappropriate. Eventually I found a <a href="http://modelshop.co.uk/Shop/Item/1-50-wheelchair-3-brass/ITM1595" target="_blank">brass plate of wheelchairs ready to build</a> from <a href="https://modelshop.co.uk/" target="_blank">4D Model Shop</a>. I used some Green Stuff to bulk out some of the shapes and the finished models are a touch small. But obviously, come the apocalypse beggars cannot be choosers. <br />
<br />
As mentioned, I did modify some of the miniatures. I cut off the machete blade Amir was modelled with and drilled out his hand to accommodate a walking stick made form a paperclip. Neek had the fingers cut from her right hand and her palm filed to accommodate the baseball bat from the weapons sprue. I then modelled new fingers and thumb from Green Stuff. Vee's hair was cut off and new hair put in place (I really loved the mask, but not so much the hair). But the biggest change was cutting off one of Susannah's legs so that I could pin it in a new position to allow her to sit. I felt that her pose would easily suit this and, with a rather massive dose of luck, I was right. I filled the cut leg with more Green Stuff. I then modelled all the bases to give them a street look, again with Green Stuff. All in all, I used around 10cm of Green Stuff strip and two whole paperclips.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-xccr_bk3npsBxJ1DHABg8InsEzeGNUE-9zEm_RxCRzmn2NKpw3KJIbXZxy0LXBIW1joURy1L5qH-CwsNblayCUlrDA-VfhYWUhdKe-3AUhhPR8QXmfqsxvUxNwCq5KKPDi9v9lzgPjk/s1600/IMG_20170405_134055.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-xccr_bk3npsBxJ1DHABg8InsEzeGNUE-9zEm_RxCRzmn2NKpw3KJIbXZxy0LXBIW1joURy1L5qH-CwsNblayCUlrDA-VfhYWUhdKe-3AUhhPR8QXmfqsxvUxNwCq5KKPDi9v9lzgPjk/s320/IMG_20170405_134055.jpg" width="230" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A male figure holding a pistol and a walking<br />
stick.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx4yOYwfTr4Y-uGbO6qz7dxi7bMGD1ahujeR3uHjnIeb9HgAm2TJ4f79emYUFohyphenhyphenPOhQ3M6k8R7xlW5oA7ZsZqbLaq7baqb9By5PheUWbYv3jPPmXSbj5ZSa9U7vEFQzNd0wqq1PuO9Ag/s1600/IMG_20170405_134223.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx4yOYwfTr4Y-uGbO6qz7dxi7bMGD1ahujeR3uHjnIeb9HgAm2TJ4f79emYUFohyphenhyphenPOhQ3M6k8R7xlW5oA7ZsZqbLaq7baqb9By5PheUWbYv3jPPmXSbj5ZSa9U7vEFQzNd0wqq1PuO9Ag/s320/IMG_20170405_134223.jpg" width="252" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A female figure holding a baseball bat.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_0HHEfMH28u9EeGZGj9knaVXT8iXRXWedv-0JhPTjI9TE9LpBGO26BRy08eWl4y2k43P4ww96YThFEAQMUOMbY5XeKLJwa1aewGRxKMUuSX1od_HD_4nxmPinZGWDzpJSvB9_PL7aaV8/s1600/IMG_20170405_134302.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_0HHEfMH28u9EeGZGj9knaVXT8iXRXWedv-0JhPTjI9TE9LpBGO26BRy08eWl4y2k43P4ww96YThFEAQMUOMbY5XeKLJwa1aewGRxKMUuSX1od_HD_4nxmPinZGWDzpJSvB9_PL7aaV8/s320/IMG_20170405_134302.jpg" width="238" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A female figure holding a pistol whilst sat in <br />
a wheelchair whose back wheels are missing</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrD1MxoamKqVFFpE5zR1pg5bpsneWX1T4fVnq6LZIRk7O2Dr8UTJgq7h2rlqZH3PxOqiYjw1UkYyQhMwalfeVFJZ7p4CgiWMOsGFbxzg24ykF5o4zegC_FVQQjhOBQ64zaAKUccTjMLOM/s1600/IMG_20170405_134327.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrD1MxoamKqVFFpE5zR1pg5bpsneWX1T4fVnq6LZIRk7O2Dr8UTJgq7h2rlqZH3PxOqiYjw1UkYyQhMwalfeVFJZ7p4CgiWMOsGFbxzg24ykF5o4zegC_FVQQjhOBQ64zaAKUccTjMLOM/s320/IMG_20170405_134327.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A female figure whose leg has been sawn off and pinned back<br />
in place with a paperclip.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I then created the <a href="https://zombicide-2dc3.kxcdn.com/dl/zombicide_empty_survivoridcard.pdf" target="_blank">ID cards</a> and <a href="https://zombicide-2dc3.kxcdn.com/dl/blank_cards.zip" target="_blank">Equipment cards</a> using the resources on the Zombicide website. I also found a <a href="https://www.pjgalbraith.com/zombicide-custom-equipment-deck/" target="_blank">fantastic blog post with equipment cards and fonts available for download</a>.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://mister-goldfish.blogspot.co.uk/2017/05/zombicide-survivors-with-impairments_39.html" target="_blank">In the final blog post</a>, we meet our team of heroes!Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-91128095630527631242017-05-01T00:02:00.000+01:002017-05-01T00:03:42.299+01:00Zombicide Survivors with Impairments - Inspiration (01)<audio controls="">
<source src="https://archive.org/download/zombicide1/zombicide1.mp3"></source>
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<a href="https://archive.org/download/zombicide1/zombicide1.mp3" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Downloadable MP3</span></a><br />
<br />
I've never had a t-shirt with a slogan before. I've had brand names, designs and logos. I even once had lovely black tee with a picture of a triceratops which, when it was dark, started glowing with a luminous skeleton! I was that cool. But never a slogan.<br />
<br />
There was one, though, which I wanted. I've seen it several times since, but back then it was origianl and unique. It was, again, a black t-shirt and in white writing it said;<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://topatoco.com/collections/a-softer-world/products/asw-zombie" target="_blank">In the event of a zombie invasion</a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://topatoco.com/collections/a-softer-world/products/asw-zombie" target="_blank">Follow Me </a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
The night after my grandmother's funeral, I sat and watched the original <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077402/" target="_blank">Dawn of the Dead</a> for the umpteenth time. It's a film full of messages. Reject consumerism, embrace friendship, make the right choices. And accept loss.
Since then, the zombie invasion has spread towards the mainstream with tv shows like <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1520211/" target="_blank">AMC's The Walking Dead</a> and even the medieval fantasy ice zombies of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0944947/" target="_blank">HBO's Game of Thrones</a>.<br />
<br />
Zombies are a great metaphor. They are our own worst excesses. They are blindly following hatred. They are a judgement upon our own crimes. Or they're just a nameless foe whose head you don't mind seeing destroyed with a large calibre weapon.<br />
<br />
Ultimately, the best zombie narratives use the threat of the walking dead to emphasise our own humanity and our capability. And that's part of the reason I love the <a href="https://zombicide.com/" target="_blank">boardgame Zombicide</a>.
Zombicide is a game for 1-6 players aged 14+. In it, you take charge of a group of humans who are surviving the zombie apocalypse. They must battle through the living dead, searching out weapons and objectives. The zombies are controlled by the game – the good thing about zombies is that they don't do a lot of strategising and so don't need complicated mechanics. The surviving humans are all different, having a unique set of skills. As they progress through a game, so they gain experience and learn new skills which allow them to deal with the increasingly large swarm of zombies.
In other words, it's my t-shirt fantasy come to life. And my goldfish bride and I are brilliant at it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn2obXR5Xn0Eo9k03Vbk5Le1nWvfvPZmm1Rs4x4IfOEJXULpXgFp2USlAiZY3pVUPHw51xzOXvJIwZYsFw9MU9r4DbB_YfvzcCiI-97Dgs9hOnZdD8N9iQMM7pPWtzItofEt-Je_1FbYg/s1600/board.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn2obXR5Xn0Eo9k03Vbk5Le1nWvfvPZmm1Rs4x4IfOEJXULpXgFp2USlAiZY3pVUPHw51xzOXvJIwZYsFw9MU9r4DbB_YfvzcCiI-97Dgs9hOnZdD8N9iQMM7pPWtzItofEt-Je_1FbYg/s400/board.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Zombicide game in action. A group of colourful plastic figures grouped in one room of a colourful map. In the background the map stretches off and a collection of yellow plastic zombies can be seen approaching.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
But what does any of this have to do with disability?<br />
<br />
Zombicide is fantastic. I started by ordering the 'third season', Zombicide: Rue Morgue. Having spent a lot of time in a hospital school, the idea of zombie shenanigans set in a hospital environment really appealed to me. Also, I knew that this set came with the largest group of survivors. Given that you typically choose six models to then play with, I thought having the largest cast possible from the very beginning would add to the fun. What I didn't realise at the time is that Rue Morgue also comes with one of the most diverse casts of all the main season boxsets.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTp0kNTqgen6_XNK43Na3KJ9Kas-wMho1uE0DVp8bs9Au-Nz_XekmIdBsgakSi9J56g7I-vtpZ0SzYLzsOsJ8GtpSPBnkk7JN2URGNo0-JG8E03KlmOfg2Y_rCL8Dch4uZVvyOi_9aSlQ/s1600/Wanda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTp0kNTqgen6_XNK43Na3KJ9Kas-wMho1uE0DVp8bs9Au-Nz_XekmIdBsgakSi9J56g7I-vtpZ0SzYLzsOsJ8GtpSPBnkk7JN2URGNo0-JG8E03KlmOfg2Y_rCL8Dch4uZVvyOi_9aSlQ/s320/Wanda.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wanda, a zombicide character. A blonde woman with glasses<br />
wearing roller-skates. She wields a chainsaw in both hands. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When I was a kid, I used to religiously buy White Dwarf magazine – Games Workshop's publication for everything Warhammer / 40k related. Although I never really got to play the games properly, I would occasionally buy the odd figure to paint and would avidly sit reading the monthly battle report. It was, and still is, much the same as watching a sporting event. Only the scale is greater and there are more dice.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamergate_controversy" target="_blank">The social justice problems with video gaming have been publicised in recent years</a>. Far more people have a console and a social media outlet than are willing to sit painting toy soldiers for several months in order to play a game which requires a 6x4' table and at least a couple of hours - not to mention a rulebook the size of a small novel. And so when video games make mistakes (which is almost a base state, sadly) the resultant story spreads far and wide. And the battle lines of the internet are a bloody zone.<br />
<br />
Wargaming, boardgaming, RPGs – they don't register in the same way. Not that there haven't been moral panics about RPGs, but not so much in recent years and not regarding anything that we might be interested in here. In fact, the closest there has been to a Wargaming controversary recently was the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/38802938/animal-rights-group-peta-calls-for-warhammer-fur-ban" target="_blank">not-at-all-a-publicity-stunt move by PETA to criticise the use of fur in the entirely fictional characters in Warhammer 40k</a>. As with other geek cultures, though, there are genuine problems with representation. I will talk about Games Workshop in specifics as they are the company with whom I am most familiar, but they are in no way unique.<br />
<br />
As is the case in much fantasy and sci-fi content, gender is poorly represented. Female characters are rare (non-binary characters are rarer) and, in general, only ever exist as part of all-female groups. They are almost universally lithe, fragile creatures and there are often problems with sexualisation. Bell of Lost Souls recently followed the <a href="http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2017/03/40k-retro-28-years-of-daemonettes.html" target="_blank">modelling of Daemonettes over the past twenty-odd years</a> and as you can see, even at their best they are effectively demonic chorus girls with crab hands. For more information about gender in Warhammer 40k, it's worth <a href="https://www.themarysue.com/warhammer-40k-gender-representation/" target="_blank">reading this article by James McConnaughy</a>. <br />
<br />
Talking of crab hands, let's get on to disability. It's extremely rare to have any real example of disability in the characters available. And when there is an example, it tends to be rather extreme and not very...disablish. Take Commisar Yarrick. When I was 10, he was one of my favourite models. The back story of his character involves a running conflict between him and a famous Ork boss. During their final battle Yarrick had his arm torn off. But he also heroically saved the day, killing said boss who had a 'killa klaw' arm. When he came to, Yarrick insisted that, rather than a proper bionic arm, he be fitted with this crab-like monstrosity. <a href="http://www.coolminiornot.com/339983" target="_blank">Which does look fantastic</a>, but must make eating a burger really tricky. And why, in the forty-first millennia, can't he have both and them be interchangeable? Or, maybe, him just be a character with a missing arm?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f6/Pozna%C5%84_Pyrkon_2015_Cosplay_Warhammer_40k.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f6/Pozna%C5%84_Pyrkon_2015_Cosplay_Warhammer_40k.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A photo taken at a convention of four people dressed as characters from the<br />
Warhammer 40k universe. The second from the left is Commissar Yarrick.<br />
By Klapi (Own work) [<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0" target="_blank">CC BY-SA 4.0</a>] via Wikimedia Commons</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
There are attempts to represent the impairment of injuries in 40k, but they are very simplistic; the rules for a freshly 'blinded' unit says that, for one turn, they can only hit a ranged target on the roll of a 6 on a six sided dice. There are no penalties to movement or morale, which you might expect on a battlefield. Skirmish level games with campaign rules (keeping track of the same characters over several games) try harder, having more complicated systems that track the health of individuals.<br />
<br />
In a fantastic article about disability in RPGs, <a href="http://analoggamestudies.org/2015/02/reimagining-disability-in-role-playing-games/" target="_blank">Elsa S. Henry writes about the problems she has found in the disability mechanics in the RPG games she loves</a>. In many ways, they have a lot more options than the war games of Games Workshop - understandably, perhaps, as they focus more on narrative and adventure than military combat. But as with the incredibly simple and underwhelming effects of, say, 'blinding' in 40k, the games Henry plays involve 'flaws' which people are able to ignore or game away with ease. For example, she mentions someone who takes a 'flaw' for their magic-using character who then simply casts a spell to remove said impairment. Henry also points out another game whose impairments (much like the skirmish games mentioned above) are all acquired in-game. They can never just be something that's a long-term part of someone's character. They are a tragedy to befall them. A tragedy which costs someone...numbers on a dice roll. I'd like to quote this from her article;<br />
<br />
<i>Well, we should bother [pushing for inclusion in games] because the world of games has changed drastically since the first publication of Dungeons & Dragons in the 1970s, and where we are now is a place where we should diversify and accept that our culture and hobby is growing. We can do this by changing the way that games look at disabilities. They’re not flaws, or blockades to the heroism we want to play out. They are not antithetical to the adventurers we play, or the knights who save the realm. A disabled knight is still a knight, her ability—whether or not she can hear—is a part of her physical representation. Disabilities should be written into games as a part of the space, a part of regular play, not as a flaw which doesn’t acknowledge that disability is more than just physical: it’s an identity we carry with us from day to day</i>.<br />
<br />
And so back to Zombicide and the diverse cast of Rue Morgue. The survivors have a range of ages, races and genders (although, of course, only in a binary sense). The female characters are not universally young, stick thin sex objects for male player gaze. And female characters are just as likely to be capable of extreme violence as the men.
Very quickly our collection of Zombicide boxes grew and Deb has often ended up playing with three female characters who form a very mobile group of fighters who mostly excel in hand-to-hand combat. It's really lovely to see that and it not be some kind of magical enhancement or peculiarity. They are who they are and fight as they would. It all makes sense and the inclusivity really helps the player to sink into the game.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoSzX4ZDzGzcVDmfOOz-FT1xJCnGTSvHq4pusCOnkFeYcJRnzYnH8gczoLRIu7lRcJJAITC_FpF3hhzIgyyKlswZJAaRnn3sUDB0zT4n_BR-kyo67AuhUK8AteWHjXF-17ZEnkM69FaM4/s1600/tcm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoSzX4ZDzGzcVDmfOOz-FT1xJCnGTSvHq4pusCOnkFeYcJRnzYnH8gczoLRIu7lRcJJAITC_FpF3hhzIgyyKlswZJAaRnn3sUDB0zT4n_BR-kyo67AuhUK8AteWHjXF-17ZEnkM69FaM4/s320/tcm.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The box artwork for the second season of Zombicide - <br />
Toxic City Mall. A black woman with a firearm leads<br />
a group of survivors in a fight against zombies.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It's not all great, though. The second season survivors are not quite so brilliant for female characters. Although there is a black woman, her character is more sexualised than I would like. There are 'guest boxes' where other artists have designed characters. These range from <a href="https://zombicide.com/en/pg/angry-mary/" target="_blank">slightly more believable strong women</a>, to <a href="https://zombicide.com/en/pg/maki/" target="_blank">women who risk dying of cold before the zombies get a look in</a>. But the ease with which new characters can be created really inspired me. The makers of the game (Guillotine Games) have been very good about providing templates to allow players to create their own characters, equipment and missions. And motivated by the feelings of inclusivity in the season three survivors, I wanted to create a team of survivors with impairments.<br />
<br />
In my <a href="http://mister-goldfish.blogspot.co.uk/2017/05/zombicide-survivors-with-impairments_1.html" target="_blank">next blog post</a> I'll describe how I went about collating appropriate skills, finding the right miniatures and some of the challenges I faced in creating a diverse group of heroes.Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-56714727415331524042017-04-29T10:59:00.002+01:002017-04-29T10:59:17.282+01:00Blogging Against Disablism Day 2017<div style="text-align: center;">
BLOGGING AGAINST DISABLISM DAY 2017 WILL BE MONDAY 1ST MAY!</div>
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<a href="http://tinyurl.com/BADD2017" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2017" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5IQ9FH2fEobwggzu39W9z-JxzHSfcodXCC9IpKlJFlhfp-vrbxVtw0CYf8x_KX9qfqn4eI6QlCKElYtez0svjdboTZAmlldDlhVwplq8yaN-aiZX2Hn3KW0dF0Skde9fn_vtU4FKkEwI/s320/bad01.gif" title="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2017" /></a></div>
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Please share the word about the day and come back here on Monday to read my contribution.</div>
Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-49375736879147217962016-05-01T00:21:00.000+01:002016-05-01T00:21:50.493+01:00Prejudice and Representation<audio controls="">
<source src="https://archive.org/download/BADD2016mister/BADD2016mister.mp3"></source>
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<a href="https://archive.org/download/BADD2016mister/BADD2016mister.mp3" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Downloadable MP3</span></a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">This blog post is a part of Blogging Against Disablism Day 2016. For more information and to read other work on the theme of disability descrimination, pride etc, see <a href="http://tinyurl.com/badd16" target="_blank">Diary of a Goldfish</a></span> <br />
<br />
Prejudice grows like mould; the smaller and darker the space, the worse the problem. In an insular group, everyone is an outsider. It's so much harder to treat anyone with bigotry when you're surrounded by a variety of voices, a variety of faces, a variety of hopes and dreams. So one of the key tools in fighting prejudice is to feed people with broad and positive representation in fiction, film and television.<br />
<br />
Thinking back to my own childhood, I remember very little about <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grange_Hill" target="_blank">Grange Hill</a> beyond the bullying which I recognised in my own school, and the character played by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francesca_Martinez" target="_blank">Francesca Martinez</a> - the first person I saw with <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_palsy" target="_blank">Cerebral Palsy</a>. I remember, in extremely white Surrey, programmes like <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fresh_Prince_of_Bel-Air" target="_blank">The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air</a> and their broad cast of entirely individual people of colour. And I remember the bad, too - the disabled villains, stereotypical black men, and non-existant or entirely passive women of a hundred different programmes and films.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNb7GJXmArDWkyI3WyLrNv0SpeaSYsq2VZm5EcFySvFSBaY-49kx9HdOO7-f3pJdyZOW9cX5yAav_z566Gl3sO5hkv0-jn44Sc7NIxAz9CLXMliGHIabVqS9A6bnFOQdzg7QvddQhlYqE/s1600/grange_hill_titles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Comic book style image of numerous young people and an alarming sausage." border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNb7GJXmArDWkyI3WyLrNv0SpeaSYsq2VZm5EcFySvFSBaY-49kx9HdOO7-f3pJdyZOW9cX5yAav_z566Gl3sO5hkv0-jn44Sc7NIxAz9CLXMliGHIabVqS9A6bnFOQdzg7QvddQhlYqE/s320/grange_hill_titles.jpg" title="Grange Hill Theme" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #999999;">Grange Hill Theme</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Of course, I am not a product solely of these things. But they are some of the earliest cultural rungs in the ladder of my life. And some of them appear to have been deliberately greased in the hope that I would fall back into prejudice. Fostering an atmosphere of mistrust and prejudice, where the same kind of people play the same kind of roles, enables those who are already at the top of the pecking order keep their place. It also maintains a bland and simple world which takes little imagination to navigate. If Francesca Martinez had never set foot in Grange Hill, viewers who had never and would never come into contact with disability would not have to think about it. As it is, social awareness is talked about as if it is a chore; <a href="http://www.thebabywebsite.com/article.1788.Parents_Complain_About_One-Armed_CBeebies_Presenter.htm" target="_blank">when the BBC hired Cerrie Burnell to present on the CBBC channel, parents were upset because</a> “they were forced to discuss difficult issues with their young children before they were ready.”<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
In terms of narrative, it's obvious that, in the case of original stories like Grange Hill and The Fresh Prince, there are no barriers to inclusivity. If someone had wanted to write one of the Banks family as disabled, that would have been possible. However, there are also other situations in which people feel they have a genuine excuse for what amounts to disablist laziness.<br />
<br />
Historical fiction is created with weight of fact to wrestle with. This is further complicated when the history is ancient as sources become uncertain or contradictory. In some ways this benefits the adapting author as they have numerous narrative options open to them. But those with privilege (or those brainwashed by the powers that be into thinking that things are as they are because that is how things *<b>should</b>* be) are restricted to the same old stories of Straight White Non-Disabled Men fighting their way to the top. These stories, damaging to our cultural health, are immensely boring. And, <a href="https://fozmeadows.wordpress.com/2012/12/08/psa-your-default-narrative-settings-are-not-apolitical/" target="_blank">as Foz Meadows describes in this excellent post</a>, it's missing something about what *really* happened in our history.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCXVTsPYb_PeoW5RsH1EMY-PLZosvvLub8Tu6GH9DI4aeV0P_SUFZNHdfT5JfvOrTlFA5Kzkm3EAk6oLqT24qWxDekIEoKsScykgvQAY7X3cOXPSs3o7tUu-ncL1PcVj3hBIUY2HwzCl0/s1600/The_death_of_Richard_III_at_Bosworth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="A line drawing of Richard the Third naked, looking none too well." border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCXVTsPYb_PeoW5RsH1EMY-PLZosvvLub8Tu6GH9DI4aeV0P_SUFZNHdfT5JfvOrTlFA5Kzkm3EAk6oLqT24qWxDekIEoKsScykgvQAY7X3cOXPSs3o7tUu-ncL1PcVj3hBIUY2HwzCl0/s320/The_death_of_Richard_III_at_Bosworth.jpg" title="Richard the Third's death" width="196" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #999999;">Richard the Third's death</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
An interesting example can be found in Shakespeare's Richard III. At school, we were told that Richard's disability was merely a metaphor, <a href="https://www.royalcollection.org.uk/collection/403436/richard-iii-1452-85" target="_blank">that the Tudors had painted a hunchback onto the last Plantagenet king to symbolise his corruption</a>. Then in 2012, archaeologists discovered Richard's body buried under a car park and revealed he did, indeed, have substantial spinal problems.<br />
<br />
It is true that historical figures are often 'tainted' with a disablist brushstroke by critical contemporaries. But disablist caricatures only really work if we take those disabilities to be negative. If there wasn't an association between hunchbacks and evilness, Richard's disability would be neutral. There would have been no reason for historians to be sceptical about its reality, if it wasn't being used to cast him as a pantomime disabled villain.<br />
<br />
We've recently watched a couple of historical TV series which have made choices to show disabled characters.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Kingdom_%28TV_series%29" target="_blank">The Last Kingdom</a> (adapted from the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Saxon_Stories" target="_blank">Bernard Cornwall novels</a>) tells the story of a Saxon boy surfing the political and social waves of Britain during one of its biggest upheavals. In it we meet <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_the_Great" target="_blank">Alfred the Great</a> (played by the great <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Dawson_%28actor%29" target="_blank">David Dawson</a>). This Alfred, although viciously astute, is not a well man. There is significant historical evidence charting the course of Alfred's health, <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1293232/" target="_blank">enough, in fact, to allow G. Craig to attempt a diagnosis</a>. He demonstrates the high possibility that the king had <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crohn's_disease" target="_blank">Crohn's Disease</a> or something similar. He also theorises that the early-Christian audience for the original manuscript would feel more kindly towards a king who was struggling with great suffering.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWh-6HX_MNk6hOJZcluvyz5bjv9sdK2pigWj8yOX9OluVh5DMPsyuaRGxLUmTbgEzhgBTFfFjiMdLVsCdfzGAd9_IxXCWYJEVJS-E7M9iYRPdnu1B84mjp7-UxCMIwvIna-v0qCpwBNlc/s1600/Ikon_of_King_St._Alfred_the_Great.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="An icon showing Alfred the Great in strong colours carrying a book, orb and sceptre." border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWh-6HX_MNk6hOJZcluvyz5bjv9sdK2pigWj8yOX9OluVh5DMPsyuaRGxLUmTbgEzhgBTFfFjiMdLVsCdfzGAd9_IxXCWYJEVJS-E7M9iYRPdnu1B84mjp7-UxCMIwvIna-v0qCpwBNlc/s320/Ikon_of_King_St._Alfred_the_Great.jpg" title="Alfred the Great" width="232" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #999999;">Alfred the Great</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaZ3BlhFbdmrIEu3U2hVoGHHD9TwK35__SqAxg8nhmsUqjnDNN3C-NxjkGkJDsr742PehELhsbmXry-VoiTHKyD6aSHdCxw3yNlzAMGhprcbDP9DXxopu4ruhqPf-R-nPi68kjWK4JsJ4/s1600/PD1455616%2540IVOR+KE+21.07_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>The Last Kingdom uses Alfred's disability to contrast his razor-sharp mind with physical weakness. It becomes a symbolic struggle – abstinence from the rich food he desires brings him to an equilibrium which is also spiritual. In comparison, Uhtred, the main character, is relatively unsophisticated. And the whole series has a huge problem with the presentation of women (there are four main female characters, three of whom sleep with Uhtred, the fourth being the harridan wife of Alfred).<br />
<br />
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vikings_%28TV_series%29" target="_blank">Vikings</a>, now in its fourth season, follows the story of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragnar_Lodbrok" target="_blank">Ragnar Lothbrok</a>. One of his sons, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivar_the_Boneless" target="_blank">Ivar the Boneless</a>, is disabled. Given the comparatively weak historical evidence (other than his name, the other significant information is that he was carried on his shield by his men – an act of celebration which need not have anything to do with someone's ability to walk) it is interesting that the writers chose this route. Vikings is a brutal programme with graphic violence and sex. One of the theories for Ivar's epithet is that he was especially lithe and it was his graceful fighting which made him so successful. This could easily be used – you can imagine his character now; the same as a million other white male warriors.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2DgHKR-iznhaAJXLYhJ7vVboiQufUwZ1mvqNsXGdih42PNLpKq8he4d5RjNjJDpGoJ9sFPePox9C4ss8ZyWUDhQbLANII-hCTpjLb9byXUKvmP9csHlfxxnwFEg1AcW8-uYw3lnPHTk8/s1600/PD1455616%2540IVOR+KE+21.07_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="A small green train driven by a friendly looking welshman. A dragon sits on the chimney. No vikings." border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2DgHKR-iznhaAJXLYhJ7vVboiQufUwZ1mvqNsXGdih42PNLpKq8he4d5RjNjJDpGoJ9sFPePox9C4ss8ZyWUDhQbLANII-hCTpjLb9byXUKvmP9csHlfxxnwFEg1AcW8-uYw3lnPHTk8/s1600/PD1455616%2540IVOR+KE+21.07_m.jpg" title="Ivar the Boneless" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #999999;">Ivar the Boneless. Not to be confused with Ivor the Engine.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
However, they've chosen to portray him with a condition like <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osteogenesis_imperfecta" target="_blank">Osteogenesis Imperfecta</a>. He fits in well with the rest of the cast and as a young adult his condition is not talked about (or not as far as I've got in the series!). We know from numerous examples that great military leaders need not be the strongest physical specimens (Julius Caesar, Napoleon, Nelson etc) so it doesn't preclude the historical narrative. Diversity and flavour are added. And the unlikely disabled character will, if the history is followed, eventually trick his way into a great British city and earn himself a huge following of warriors.<br />
<br />
However, the young child Ivar has suffered from more prejudicial writing. His disability is a symbol (perhaps not unfairly – Vikings is a series with a lot of symbolism) but his evilness has no historical backing that I can see and the extreme violence he meets out as a child is completely unexamined. This is damaging and seems rather at odds with some of their other choices.<br />
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-- <br />
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So what should writers do? I'm certainly not saying that they should overturn historical facts to create a weak link to modern social justice*, but the truth is that the world has always been a diverse place. It has been our own prejudice which has mangled even the most reliable sources to fit in with our present day cultural narratives.<br />
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In order to make realistic fiction we have to include a realistic diversity in our depiction. And that's especially true of disability at a time when cultural narratives are being written in big, thick marker. Bad stories. Stories that cast us as villains or helpless victims, stories which question our worth and which exclude us from significant roles. Impairment is an inevitable part of life and always has been (in fact, increasingly so the further back in history one voyages). Whether you're King of the Britons or executing one of them, your disabilities are a key part of who you are and are necessary in any good narrative that describes you.<br />
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<span style="color: #999999;">* An interesting example here would be <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madeline_Miller#The_Song_of_Achilles" target="_blank">Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller</a> – a very popular book which I can't stand. It reworks the story of Achilles and Patroclus amidst the Trojan war as found in the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iliad" target="_blank">Iliad</a>. Miller overwrites the original complex ancient sexuality with a modern soap-opera version of homosexual love. The story of Briseis in the Iliad is replaced with a bizarre escapade of gay men rescuing women from the horrors of rape and slavery during war. You cannot rewrite motives to make them understandable – the skill of a writer should be focused on making the unimaginable lives of ancient peoples understandable.</span><br />
<br />Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-79473795899128033372015-10-06T14:21:00.001+01:002015-10-06T14:21:06.312+01:00A is for...<p dir="ltr">Scope's most recent addition to their extraordinarily awkward "End the Awkward" series of publications is <a href="http://www.scope.org.uk/awkward/a-z">an alphabet of disabled sex</a>.  Forgive me, but this was too good to just leave alone.  Sex and disability is a fascinating and under researched topic, so can't you just imagine the dreary afternoon spent trying to come up with an entire A-Z of disabled sexuality.  I hate to think how many biscuits they all got through.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Going through the list, I will trouble you with my own guesses as to what they might have come up with followed by a little critique of each subject.  So here we go.</p>
<p dir="ltr">A.  Given that I was anticipating a pretty righteous and yet baffling start to the list, I guessed Autustic Sex.  I was anticipating something along the lines of "Wasn't Dustin Hoffman cute in Rainman?".  However, I forgot about the single most sexualised disabled group - amputees.  Given the rubbish a lot of amputees go through online, it would have made for an interesting discussion.  It was, if anything, rather simplified.</p>
<p dir="ltr">B.  Whilst trying to guess, Deb mimed a clue.  That didn't help as much as you might have thought.  I didn't even manage a guess and Burlesque really is scraping the barrel.  Again, you could have interesting discussions about how disabled bodies fit surprisingly well into the Burlesque aesthetic, especially as it's often tainted by the dark shadow of the Freak Show.</p>
<p dir="ltr">C.  Thoroughly unimpressed by B, I guessed that C stood for Cucumber.  Which makes marginally more sense than Coffee.  Or Coffee?  Because Coffee? is the universal euphemism for "Fancy a quick macchiato upstairs?".  Which explains why Starbucks has done so well.  Given that I don't drink coffee, I suggest that we create more euphemistic consumables.  Cucumber is perhaps a little too obvious, although "Do you want to come upstairs for a cucumber sandwich with the crusts cut off?" is pretty much on my level.</p>
<p dir="ltr">D.  Given that most Disabled Loos are considered hot spots for illicit sexual activity, I thought they might feature in this list as something to be reclaimed.  But no, they've gone for the rather more chaste option of Dating.  Which seems wantonly Dull.</p>
<p dir="ltr">E.  For epilepsy?  Electroshock therapy?  Or, if we're being a bit more sensible, emotions?  Nope - Experimenting!  Firstly, I felt rather robbed because the person interviewed has non-EPILEPTIC seizures!  So close!  But it's a rather miserable little story about how sex with a disabled person can be 'weird'.  And in the example, it's weird because someone might have a seizure during intercourse rather than any of the hundred other more extreme examples of 'weird' I can think of.  Of course, none of those weirdnesses even compare to the weirdness of, say, having sex with someone who really enjoyed Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town.  Or someone who enjoys coffee.  Or someone who came up with the idea of a Disabled Sex A-Z.  *shudders*  Weeeeiiiiirrrrrd.</p>
<p dir="ltr">F.  Heh.  It's not what you think!  No, it's not that either, I checked.  Ooo, flagellation!  I didn't think of that one!  No, still wrong.  F is for Flaunt it.  Because, as we've learnt with Free the Nipple, the way to change any attitude is for people to post naked photos of themselves online.  In all seriousness, it would be great to see more variety in the images we see around us, and particularly in those of a sexual nature where white, very young, perfectly proportioned and apparently non-disabled women dominate.  However, that's not so much up to us as it is up to advertising companies who think that 'perfection' sells.</p>
<p dir="ltr">G.  Gay!  I got this one straight away.  But this is wonderful - listen to this.</p>
<p dir="ltr">G is for Gay… or bisexual, or lesbian, or trans.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It's not, you know.  Otherwise it would be gisexual, gesbian or grans.  So does this mean that disabled people should start sleeping exclusively with grandmothers now?</p>
<p dir="ltr">H.  So fed up, I didn't even try to guess.  But whoever wrote this thing was either messing around or hasn't got into any trouble while trying to get their lumbar rearranged.  Happy Endings apparently, in this case, have nothing to do with insalubrious salons but is, in fact, the *heart warming* tale of someone who had to wait a lifetime (or at least until they were in college) in order to meet their eventual spouse.  Move over Brief Encounter.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We'll have to wait now for Scope to continue this fascinating series.  I suggest you spend the rest of the day trying to come up with your own guesses for what they might come up with for the rest of the alphabet.</p>
Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-75009236641224586852015-05-01T00:16:00.000+01:002015-05-01T00:16:32.917+01:00The God of Sleep<br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/spw82/17324269955" title="The God of Sleep by Stephen Whitehead, on Flickr"><img alt="The God of Sleep" height="320" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8887/17324269955_de13d503c1_z.jpg" width="640" /></a>
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<i>Content warning for self harm</i><br />
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When I was a child of eight or so, I remember dreaming about drinking whiskey. I knew that spirits were bad for you and yet also something special. And as such, in my dreams, a nice scotch tasted somewhat like liquid ice-cream.<br />
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By the time I was fourteen, I had already been ill for two years. I had crippling attacks of muscle and nerve pain. Aware that no doctor wanted to help me, I did my best to blank my mind during the worst bouts. I tried to think about the colour black. Surround myself in a never-ending night. Floating above the pain.<br />
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I remember a talk by an ME “expert” at the hospital school I attended. Asked how I coped with pain, I said to the audience about my technique...emptying my head. “Of course, that’s easier for some people...” I got a laugh. I felt euphoric.<br />
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But I didn’t cope well with the pain. I spent nights awake, I would hit my leg repeatedly and hard enough to send a wave of tingly numbness over me. I took more than the recommended dose of paracetamol, aspirin and ibuprofen. Later, desperate and searching for some respite, I’d start having a small drink with the pills. Nothing deadly. Although a few years later, my stomach might disagree with that.<br />
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My GPs were terrible and I was scared of them. My friends at the hospital school all knew about being branded a drug-seeker. We knew what sort of a future that led to.<br />
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It was thanks to Deborah - her borrowed strength, bravery and wisdom, that led me to first experimenting with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-codamol" target="_blank">Co-codamol</a>. The fizz and astringency followed quickly by a lovely light opiate blanket. Feeling the muscles relax. My family and I moved house and I asked the new GP about taking a stronger dose. This was a monumental psychological shift.<br />
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Our culture celebrates those who break the pain barrier, who withstand agonies with a quip and a grin and who, when shot in the shoulder, are not only spared incapacity, but who are then gifted with just enough adrenalin to waste an entire bus-load of bad guys. No one writes books about people who sensibly take a few tablets and have a lie down.<br />
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People <i>do</i> write books about people who take too many tablets, do stupid things and suffer the consequences. They write books about people who become hooked on drugs and turn to prostitution. They write books about painkillers and weakness.<br />
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This has always been the case, and there’s a good reason - no one wants to read a book about me taking my tablets and having a lay down with season three of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Legend_of_Korra" target="_blank">The Legend of Korra</a> on DVD. And that’s fine - books are important educators, but only when they don’t send people to sleep.<br />
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The problem is that, in the UK at least, there has been a political shift which echoes time and again the phrase ‘Hard Working’. The only good person is a hard working one. And I’ll let you into a very personal secret - the one piece of praise I crave more than any other is being told that I’ve worked hard at something. It gives me a massive glow of happiness. But the problem is that the ways in which I do work hard are not the ways politicians mean it. And scarily, their definition has seeped into the bedrock of society. Indeed, there are times when it seeps into my brain.<br />
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As such, not only is the story of me taking my tablets terribly boring, it has become morally incompatible.<br />
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Last year Deb and I got our own bungalow together. It is, without a doubt, the best thing that’s ever happened to us. We’re very happy here and everything in the garden is lovely. However, the physical and emotional tolls the move extracted from me left me in quite a poor state. I had already progressed from Co-codamol onto <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrocodeine" target="_blank">Dihydrocodeine</a>. But talking to The Most Lovely Doctor in the World ™, I was presented with the option of morphine.<br />
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In my mind, Morphine had been akin to my childhood imaginings of whiskey. I had wished for it in the nights. I knew that it was not good for you, but it was effective, mesmeric and addictive. Being a classicist, I knew all about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morpheus_%28mythology%29" target="_blank">Morpheus</a>, the god of sleep. Being a fan of a good Western, I knew about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laudanum" target="_blank">Laudanum</a> and the opium dens of the past. I knew that this substance carried the weight of many cultures. For some reason, it should have been a much bigger step.<br />
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But by this point, it really didn’t seem it. As a child I would never have dreamed of snaffling a snifter of some spirit hidden in the back of a cupboard. I’ve never smoked or taken illegal drugs. Now, though, the idea of just trying something to see how it goes makes absolute and perfect sense.<br />
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What’s more, I have learnt that, by taking my morphine, I heal more quickly from my worst bouts. I am able to sleep properly, I can relax and breathe. Deborah has to expend less energy in her care of me. It is all wonderful.<br />
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If I were ‘Hard Working’, I would achieve much less, suffer more and so I would also take more of Deborah’s already limited time and energy resulting in her also achieving less. “Hard working” is one of the biggest lies told to us by politicians. Balance is the thing we should aim for. But balance is the boring story. The problem is, it’s also the only way anything great and sustainable can ever happen.Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-73938623579499291302015-04-27T20:00:00.003+01:002015-04-27T20:00:32.716+01:00Blogging Against Disablism Day 2015<a href="http://tinyurl.com/BADD2015" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2015" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5IQ9FH2fEobwggzu39W9z-JxzHSfcodXCC9IpKlJFlhfp-vrbxVtw0CYf8x_KX9qfqn4eI6QlCKElYtez0svjdboTZAmlldDlhVwplq8yaN-aiZX2Hn3KW0dF0Skde9fn_vtU4FKkEwI/s320/bad01.gif" title="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2015" /></a>Blogging Against Disablism Day 2015 will be on Friday 1st May!<br />
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As in previous years, I'll be helping to run this tremendous blogging carnival - posting updates on twitter and facebook and updating the main site. If you fancy joining in, sign up at <a href="http://tinyurl.com/BADD2015">http://tinyurl.com/BADD2015</a> and please promote the day using the hashtag #BADD2015<br />
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Hope to see you there!Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-37221493874928627202014-06-30T18:03:00.004+01:002014-06-30T18:03:49.563+01:00In the Land of the Blind: Men in "Orange is the New Black"<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
Back in April I wrote about the silliness of <a href="http://mister-goldfish.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/world-book-night-manly-books-for-manly.html" target="_blank">changes made to World Book Night to make it more appealing to men</a>. And men, I am afraid, are a problem yet again.</div>
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Recently we have been watching the first season of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange_Is_the_New_Black" target="_blank">Orange is the New Black</a>. We have only one episode left to watch and I am genuinely excited to see it.</div>
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However, when we got to the end of episode no. 12, Deb showed me this tweet;<!--EndFragment--><br />
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This is a joke, right? No one SERIOUSLY wrote this and got it published, right? <a href="http://t.co/IYfEFtUxl6">pic.twitter.com/IYfEFtUxl6</a><br />
— Lisa McIntire (@LisaMcIntire) <a href="https://twitter.com/LisaMcIntire/statuses/483597468790050816">June 30, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<!--StartFragment-->And, you see, the thing is, that throughout the programme, I’ve been saying something deceptively similar.</div>
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If you’ve not seen it, Orange is the New Black is a series about a thirty-something white lady who goes to prison having been convicted of transporting money for her drug smuggler girlfriend ten years previous. We follow her prison life and learn about a large cast of female inmates. The dialogue is snappy, there are some good actors, and most importantly, it has <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathryn_Janeway" target="_blank">Captain Janeway</a> doing a Russian accent (I nearly fell off the sofa. Literally.)</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Orange-The-New-Black-DVD/dp/B00HT29OVI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1404147271&sr=8-1&keywords=orange+is+the+new+black" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/91VZoAbJPzL._SL1500_.jpg" height="320" width="216" /></a>It is a remarkable piece of narrative in that it has a large female cast who are all individual, fully rounded characters of different ages, races and sexual orientations. They are not universally motivated by love, and when they are, that love needn’t be one involving a strapping full-back.</div>
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(As an aside, it also features disabled characters. And there is a truly *brilliant* scene involving a troubled youngster in a wheelchair. Worth the cost of the DVD alone.)</div>
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It is tremendously frustrating, therefore, to find a really large hole in this magnificent thing. But it is there. In fact, there are four of them! But let’s concentrate on the most important thing - won’t someone please think about the men!</div>
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Men. I am one, you know? And as such, I am in a position of tremendous good fortune. If I want to find a role-model in narrative, I have a cubic megatonne to choose from. I do face some limitations (for example, there are relatively few disabled male role-models who don’t overcome their disability to be something tremendously heroic), but they are negligible in the face of the limits placed on women.</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Goddesses-Whores-Wives-And-Slaves/dp/0712660542/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1404147405&sr=8-1&keywords=pomeroy+goddesses" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51-vkfGzytL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU02_.jpg" /></a></div>
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When studying the Women in Antiquity course as part of my Classics degree, I read and very much enjoyed <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Goddesses-Whores-Wives-And-Slaves/dp/0712660542/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1404147405&sr=8-1&keywords=pomeroy+goddesses" target="_blank">Pomeroy’s Goddesses, Whores, Wives and Slaves: Women in Classical Antiquity</a>. And scarily, these are, generally speaking, still the choices left us when we talk about women in fiction (and, often, in life too...). Maybe she is the supporting wife. Or a slave to a passion. A slut to be used and shamed. Or a goddess to save us all.</div>
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And so it’s extraordinarily easy to write a typical female character. You’ve got four options and, if you want some variety, just choose two and mix ‘em! If you doubt this, just look at the majority of the female cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.</div>
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When you’re creating a male character, however, you carefully think about their job, their relationship with family and friends, hobbies and desires etc. They necessarily become rounded and real. A proper person.</div>
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When it comes to Orange is the New Black, however, the writers have taken the latter route of character creation and used it to create rounded, complex, interesting and real women (with an exception...more on which later).</div>
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And you can tell that as soon as you do this, some people are going to look at the huge female cast and think “Well this is a bit odd - where are all the men?”. And it does feel a little like that, even to me. It’s just I don’t see that as a bad thing at all. But I can understand how someone could see that and say that the men are ‘barely and inadequately represented’.</div>
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They’re not, though. There are male prison officers. There is a male prison doctor. There are male relatives and loved ones. There are male villains and victims in the flashbacks of the prison inmates.</div>
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That sounds to me about as many male characters as you could possibly fit into a story about a women’s prison! So men are very appropriately represented. They are, as men usually are, all distinct and named. It’s possible that I’ve forgotten and there has been an episode without men in it, but I sincerely doubt it.</div>
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However, what I would vehemently argue is that although there is a more than adequate representation of men, they are not written with the devotion lavished on the female inmates.</div>
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Although there are distinct men, we never really see beyond the mask. The main villain (a moustacheod prison officer) is truly awful to his charges. We can make some guesses about his life story, but they remain, up to episode no. 12 at least, entirely unexamined. Likewise, the more likeable prison officer has an interesting story of sorts (he is an amputee), but again we do not really see any depth.</div>
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The biggest problem for me is Larry, the fiancé of the main character. I find their relationship annoying at best, and a complete mystery at worst. We cannot feel genuinely sorry for any of his suffering because we only see very controlled, minimal signs of a normal life. He is a caricature being used to very poor effect.</div>
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Of course, the problem is that as soon as you think these things, you see that they’re not universally the fate of the betesticled cast. There are female prison officers who receive just as little examination and care. But, again, we’re so used to nameless women in the background, they just fade into acceptance.</div>
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So what does this mean for the series? We’re to write it off as a failure because it’s not taken universal care of its cast of characters?</div>
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Pick five pieces of great narrative. Do the majority treat men and women with equal care and love? I doubt it.</div>
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Problematic fiction can be hugely entertaining and fun. You have to suspend a little bit of your brain that argues against it. I’ve watched the first three series of Game of Thrones and there have been times when I have been sickened by the so called ‘sexposition’. And yet I’ve still watched it. And enjoyed some parts of it enough to continue watching it.</div>
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The only real problem with problematic fiction is that it can never be truly great. And that’s where I feel that, if Orange is the New Black had managed to tick all my boxes it would be a truly great piece of fiction. And that, of course, would be wonderful.</div>
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But not everything can be great. And it is perhaps just as important to have fun, problematic stuff available where women are fully rounded characters as it is to have pieces of truly great story telling now and again.</div>
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But that probably won’t stop me from shouting at the television when I desperately want them to spend a minute looking at why a man might be doing something. Because maybe that might make the impact of his actions greater...grrr!</div>
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I must just add, however, the other three problems I have with Orange is the New Black. Firstly, no one uses the word ‘bisexual’, and there is such a naivety about the whole subject that I find it distracting.</div>
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Secondly, and much more importantly, there are aspects of sexual morality which I find troubling. </div>
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1.) there is a sexual relationship between a guard and prisoner which is painted in a very romantic light. Both characters are inadequate, but this is made worse by not really understanding the man’s motives given his lack of three dimensional character. Also, the consequences are discussed, but never in a way that suggests the act to be wrong...only that they might be discovered and punished (unfairly).</div>
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2.) there are instances where same-sex intimacy are used as a threat against a religious fundamentalist. Of course, the fundamentalist is a thoroughly horrible character deserving justice...but this kind of ‘justice’ is nothing of the sort and feels, to me, like it’s meant to be chortled over.</div>
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Finally, and most upsetting of all the problems - throughout the first series there has been a number of interesting stories told by a variety of women. Because of this we see things we don’t often see -</div>
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<li>a black woman growing from a terrified girl into a matriarchal business owner who carries out fatal justice for an injured worker.</li>
<li>a Russian wife turned gangster turned prison cook.</li>
<li>a black teenager who throws away a promising career because a hard-working life looks boring when you’re a kid.</li>
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But all of these stories have to be framed around the experience of our blonde, white main character. Ten years in prison having murdered a man who abused a girl? Yeah, a few weeks in and Blondie can relate. It’s sickening. Also, the ridiculous love story, made more ridiculous by the lack of proper character exploration of the chap, is an example of standard narrative being shoe-horned into a much more interesting and individual narrative.</div>
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It certainly has problems. But I’m sure I’ll cope.</div>
Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-6233289486926666462014-04-30T23:51:00.001+01:002014-04-30T23:51:20.334+01:00BADD 2014 - Need For Speed<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
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<a href="http://tinyurl.com/BADD2014" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2014" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5IQ9FH2fEobwggzu39W9z-JxzHSfcodXCC9IpKlJFlhfp-vrbxVtw0CYf8x_KX9qfqn4eI6QlCKElYtez0svjdboTZAmlldDlhVwplq8yaN-aiZX2Hn3KW0dF0Skde9fn_vtU4FKkEwI/s320/bad01.gif" title="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2014" /></a>
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Deb and I have tried to get out of the house a little more this year. This has meant that every few weeks you might see us in convoy along the pavement, her in the lead on her wheelchair while I take up the rear on my scooter. I’d like to think that this was entirely due to her wheelchair being fractionally slower than my scooter and so it making more sense to keep to her pace. I fear, however, that I am actually one of nature’s followers. I prefer to be back a ways, watching others out in front. And Deb has pretty hair - I get to see it blowing about in the wind if I’m behind her.</div>
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Every now and then we’ll draw level where the pavement is wide enough. If it’s somewhere very quiet, we might go along holding hands (occasionally leading to a very low speed collision).</div>
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Every now and then we also get comments. Any mobility equipment user will know the kind of thing. “Cor, can I hop on for a lift!” “Have you got a license for that thing?!” and, most recently “I guess one of the good things about being disabled is not having to walk in cat s**t...”. I s**t you not...</div>
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Obviously, most of the comments aren’t meant in a terrible way. Often it’s people, a little surprised by what they’ve seen, wanting to be friendly. And when people want to be friendly at something they are surprised by, that friendliness often falls flat. What’s more, in a society where disabled people are increasingly persecuted, any reference to any part of your disability can feel like an attack.</div>
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And yet, I remember as a kid being so totally bowled over by how brilliant scooters were. There was a chap down the road who had one with a great big plastic canopy, and on rainy days it looked like a comfy little tent on wheels. And I don’t think that’s changed much - the other day we happened upon a pair of young boys being mischievous in the woods after school. A bit shocked at being found, their response was “That’s an electric wheelchair! Cooool!”</div>
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These things should be cool. And so I’d like to tell you a story.</div>
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The other day, you’ll never guess who I met. Go on, guess! You’ll never get it. But go on, give it a go anyway!</div>
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No, it wasn’t Nick Lowe, the Classics scholar and writer of Mutant Popcorn film reviews in the SF magazine <a href="http://ttapress.com/interzone/" target="_blank">Interzone</a>. But good guess.</div>
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It was actually the former head of engineering from Karelma scooters!</div>
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Yeah, I know.</div>
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Long ago, I myself had a Karelma scooter. It was the first scooter I bought - a second hand blue-green Karelma Pegasus. Sadly, I began to have problems with it around the time when the company disappeared, and so I sold it and bought myself a Pride Legend XL in black.</div>
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At the moment, we’re in a bit of a funny situation, living between our parents. We’re trying to arrange something for our housing in the future, but in the mean time transporting a scooter between two houses would have been very difficult. I was very lucky to receive a scooter for free from the widow of a colleague of my father. So, for a time, we were actually a two scooter household. This CS200 was a fairly old machine. It had scratches along the side (and, rather suspiciously, came complete with a bottle opener on the keys...) but served me very well. It started to have problems and Deb’s wheelchair is also getting a little decrepit. So we decided to get them serviced.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Me sat on a CS200 mobility scooter in a slightly wintery graveyard. Prescient for the fate of the scooter, alas...</span></div>
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And that’s how I came to meet the former head of engineering from Karelma scooters!</div>
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Disability in general, but particularly chronic invisible conditions can be extremely damaging to a chap’s sense of masculinity. Look for a male disabled role-model and you’re either looking at a pirate, super-soldier or bond villain. All of them are active, hyper masculine and...well, not ever such a lot like me. They also tend not to have anything to do with mobility scooters. Electric wheelchairs are OK for villains (and also Tim Mcinnerny in Johnny English Reborn) but on the whole, you’re expected to be propelled by the musky force of your manliness alone. Or, you know, your arms.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">A still from Johnny English Reborn - a surprisingly fun film featuring an improbable mobility device.</span></div>
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But do you know what happened when I spoke to the former head of engineering from Karelma scooters (who, for the record, is called Artur)?</div>
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We had a wonderfully blokey conversation!</div>
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We talked about the amperage of the motor controllers. We talked about the benefits of dual motors over trans-axle designs. We talked about the cost of parts and engineering philosophies.</div>
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Honestly, I couldn’t have felt more manly without the aid of a full set of spanners and a two gallons of used engine oil!</div>
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And what’s more, I felt pride in that manliness.</div>
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Two points relating to this;</div>
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1.) Pride is currently not encouraged for disabled people in our society. Our image, as portrayed by politicians and in the media, is one of which no one could be proud. We must be lacking everything - any sort of capacity, any sort of happiness or fulfillment - to be entitled to any sort of help (and, indeed, any sort of acceptance in society). If we receive help, we cannot show anything good for fear of that help being taken away. This means that our communities tend towards copious displays of lack of ability to justify ourselves.</div>
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2.) I don’t want you to believe for an instant that I mean manliness in a way that excludes women. I think all women should be a little manly. There’s something wonderfully nerdy about being a chap. We watched a programme the other day about men in Georgian Britain and it mentioned how men didn’t have fripperies or toys, they had ‘equipment’. Everyone should be able to have equipment! Equipment is fun! And one of the best things that manliness gives you is a certain self confidence...and an enthusiasm.</div>
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The problem with men (or at least one of the many problems...) is that they can let that go too far the other way. That’s when you get arrogant sods and men who, when seeing a couple out on their mobility equipment is a bit annoyed that they will avoid the fate of his excrement-covered shoes.</div>
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So, I urge you all to take some pride in your equipment, whatever it may be, and feel enthused, not just in things, but in yourselves. Me, I will feel pride in my mobility equipment. And I look forward to the time when my scooter needs servicing* as I am sure Artur and I will have a fun conversation about the benefits of single-piece control panels for waterproofing purposes. Just two chaps who, in their own individual ways, are both part of a proud disability community.</div>
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If you have any problems with your scooter or wheelchair and are in East Anglia, I urge you to give <a href="http://www.scootertech.co.uk/" target="_blank">Scootertech</a> a ring. Also, wherever in the country you are, if you’re in the market for a new scooter, you could do a *lot* worse than one of his models. And if you buy one, mention me! With a few hundred commissions, I might be able to get my own <a href="http://www.scootertech.co.uk/mobility-vehicles/4576419538" target="_blank">Hillclimber Extreme</a> - a name so manly, I think I just heard my chest-hair rustle in excitement! </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">*Sadly the CS200 had terminal problems and we’re back to being a single scooter household</span><!--EndFragment-->Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-6333529541291584792014-04-30T23:51:00.000+01:002014-04-30T23:51:04.732+01:00BADD 2014 - Clippity Cloppity Goat and the Dragon<audio controls="">
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<a href="http://tinyurl.com/BADD2014" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2014" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5IQ9FH2fEobwggzu39W9z-JxzHSfcodXCC9IpKlJFlhfp-vrbxVtw0CYf8x_KX9qfqn4eI6QlCKElYtez0svjdboTZAmlldDlhVwplq8yaN-aiZX2Hn3KW0dF0Skde9fn_vtU4FKkEwI/s320/bad01.gif" title="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2014" /></a>
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Far away, beyond the mountains, there are vast plains of shingle, laying flat like a million stony fish scales. To the eye of any normal creature, these vast stretches of grey are barren. But that emptiness is a lie. If you close your eyes and listen, things move under those stones. Scales scratch. And, if you tread on the wrong piece of rock, you might end up with a terribly warm foot. Because this is the place where dragons live.</div>
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Clippity had been doing very well after his adventures with Arnold the troll. He had, of course, been in a lot of trouble with his mother. But when she saw what a sensible kid he’d been, she was inclined not to be too angry with him. Very soon he was back to playing with his friends in the paddock, chasing butterflies, butting fence-posts and spreading as much happiness as he possibly could.</div>
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One cloudy day, Clippity chased a particularly colourful butterfly all the way across the field, right up to the great steel cattle grid. Concentrating entirely on the brightly fluttering insect, he didn’t notice the ground as it gave way under his hoofs. With a clang and a bang, little Clippity tumbled forward, bending his foreleg painfully. He bleated, shocked and struggled to free himself, but to no avail. The young goat was stuck fast.</div>
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Dragons. Creatures of magic, covered in dull metallic scales. Their breath is a caustic heat while their eyes glitter terribly like distant stars on fire. But, being magical, they can, at the wiggle of a single claw, shimmer into invisibility. Which is why, even though we all know that dragons exist, we never see them.</div>
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No dragon can hide from his kin, however, no matter how much they might like to try. And Boris desperately wanted to hide. Boris did not want anyone to see him because he knew that he was very different. All his family and friends were monstrously large; miniature mountains in their own right, sliding amid their shingle burrows. But Boris was tiny - little bigger than a blackbird. And while the dragons around him were dull, like old steel, Boris was brilliant green, like a boiling emerald.</div>
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After years of ridicule and unkindness, Boris had had enough. His deep red eyes looked away from the cool grey of his home, out over the mountains, the rivers and woods all the way to the brilliant green of the fields in the distance. A green land where he might feel at home...</div>
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Poor little Clippity! His foreleg was terribly hurt. No amount of licking from his mother would cure this injury. A vet was called and very soon the fragile limb had been bandaged with a strangely coloured fabric which turned solid as more layers were wrapped around. Finally, Clippity was lifted up and carried to a field he had not seen before. The fences around it seemed particularly tall and uninviting. He was scared, not knowing where he was destined.</div>
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The vet could feel the creature tense in her arms and she made comforting noises deep in her throat. The soothing sound relaxed Clippity. But sooner than he wanted, he was placed carefully into the grassy field.</div>
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Very quickly, Clippity realised that he could no longer scamper. Gambolling was out too. Bouncing, sprinting, spinning - none of them worked very well at all with his solid, sticky out leg. If he was particularly careful, he could move a few steps without tripping over himself like a newborn kid. With a little goaty sigh, he took stock of his surroundings...</div>
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The journey had taken Boris the best part of a week, gliding quietly through the sun-drenched sky on his scaly wings and sleeping at nights, his tail wrapped tightly around the top-most branch of the tallest tree he could find. But he eventually discovered a small field, deep green and surrounded by a tall fence. He dived down into the hedges bordering it, blending in with the leaves. Although he knew no one could see him, he still felt nervous and wanted to completely disappear. He even found himself missing the cool beds of shingle back home.</div>
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Eventually, he began to explore his new home and found that he wasn’t alone. Some strangely furry creatures shared the enclosure he’d picked. And they weren’t getting on. “Well,” thought Boris, “If they get even angrier with each other, maybe they’ll leave me alone in my new green home...”. And so, bathed in his invisible scales, he flapped over to where the two goats, for goats they were, stood...</div>
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Clippity was not alone. In fact, there were two fellow kids in the centre of the field, glaring at each other. Intrigued, Clippity hobbled over.</div>
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One goat (Clara, he heard the other goat call her) also hobbled as she moved. But rather than a foreleg wrapped in brightly coloured fabric, her leg wasn’t shaped like a leg usually is. The lower part of her leg quickly dwindled into a little thin stump with no hoof at all. And rather than put any weight on it at all, she hopped around on the other three legs.</div>
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The other goat (Clarence, he heard Clara call him in a not at all friendly voice) had normal legs, normal hooves and could move around on them all apparently normally. However, his bearded face was hollow and his dark eyes flitted around the field as if terrified that some creature might pounce on him.</div>
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The strange pair were locked in a bitter argument. Open mouthed, Clippity listened...</div>
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It had been easy for Boris to stoke the fires of the argument. Hovering close to the ear of each creature, he whispered the words of hatred he’d been subjected to all his life. It felt good, for once, to have the power to make someone else hurt. And soon these stupid furry animals would storm off and leave him alone in peace and quiet.</div>
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“It’s not as if you even have any problems moving around,” bleeted Clara, gesturing with her shorter leg at his four, strong limbs. “You just don’t *want* to run around.”</div>
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“Pathetic!”</div>
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Clippity’s eyebrows wiggled with surprise. It almost sounded like Clara’s voice had hopped a few inches to the right as she’d called Clarence ‘pathetic’. Clarence, however, was not worried about from what direction the voice had come. He bristled and shuddered at the insult.</div>
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“It’s *not* that I don’t *want* to run around! I’m just so scared of the...space. I need the high fences and the bushes to hide from the world. You can go wherever you want, it just takes you some extra time. That’s nothing!” Clarence shouted, stamping the ground with anger.</div>
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“Stumpy!”</div>
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Clara gasped at the insult and was about to charge at Clarence when Clippity piped up.</div>
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“Excuse me, but my mother has always told me that when I’m angry, it’s important to count to ten and breathe. Things seem so much better after that.” He smiled, hoping that he might be able to defuse the situation.</div>
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It did not work.</div>
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Both goats turned to glare at him.</div>
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“What do you know, Limpy?”</div>
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Clara presumed Clarence had said this and smirked to herself. Clarence presumed that Clara had said it and snorted a short little laugh. Clippity didn’t bother thinking about who said it. He didn’t count to ten or breathe. In fact, if it weren’t for his leg, he’d have charged in and butted them both on the nose. But all he achieved was a spectacular tumble into a puddle.</div>
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“What do you know about anything?” asked Clara, derisively, “You’ll be out of this field in a few weeks when that leg’s healed. My leg won’t ever heal - I’ll be here forever!” She tried hard to mask the pain in her voice with anger.</div>
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“Yeah, you don’t know anything about what it’s really like to be scared for the future!” shouted Clarence, his heart beating wildly with fear; fear of his own anger, of the pressing sky and the wind that rustled around his ears.</div>
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Boris flapped around the three angry goats, the fear for his own future diminishing with the certainty that he would soon have the field all to himself. He did his very best to ignore the loneliness and hurt. Which is a shame, because if he hadn’t, he would have seen that it was actually growing all the time.</div>
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The three goats (with the aid of an occasional invisible snide remark) fell about arguing properly. The clamour rose into the summer air. Chloe followed it as one might the scent of a freshly baked cake. She did so carefully and gently, placing one hoof in front of the other until, finally, she was stood only a little way from the uproar. </div>
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Her opal eyes did not see, but she could clearly hear the anger of three individuals. She heard hurt, fear and shame. One goat had grown up looking different to those around her and had been treated badly. One had grown up seeing all the fear there was in the world magnified, as pebbles are at the bottom of a clear stream. One had recently suffered an injury and was scared for his future, not knowing how to cope with his new found limitations.</div>
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All of them did not fit properly into the world. All of them were the same. Whether differently shaped, hurt in mind or injuried of body. They all faced the same problem because they all struggled to fit into the world around them.</div>
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And then Chloe heard a very faint flap of leathery wings and a gentle rustle of metallic scales. She heard another voice full of fear, though it tried to blend with those around it.</div>
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“You poor creatures.”</div>
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They all froze. A dark goat with ghostly eyes stood only a little way off. Clippity, Clara and Clarence shuffled their hooves, not knowing quite how to respond. They were beginning to realise that they were all being rather silly. But one voice hadn’t been silenced.</div>
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“Get lost, blinky!” shouted Boris. But this time the three goats looked at one another, certain that the voice had not issued from one of their mouths.</div>
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“And you especially,” said Chloe, slowly moving forwards again, “to be on the outskirts of everything, hidden in the dark. It must be terribly lonely.”</div>
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Boris blushed under his scales and clamped his little crocodile mouth shut with a snap. Clippity startled, jumped, caught his bandaged leg under himself and stumbled into Clara. She helped him up.</div>
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“I don’t know who you are or where you’re from, but it sounds like you’ve experienced things we should all be able to understand. And if you share your problems with us, maybe we can help each other.” said Chloe, following Boris’ flightpath with her extremely mobile, tufted ears.</div>
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“And at the very least, we can all be together. As friends.”</div>
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Boris landed in front of Chloe and let go of the magic holding him invisible. The three goats behind him gasped at the sight, but of course, Chloe remained as she had been, just calmly listening.</div>
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“I’ve never had a friend before.” said Boris, sadly. He wiped a tear away with a wing, and hid his face.</div>
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“Neither have I.” said Clara.</div>
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“I had a friend once,” said Clarence, sadly, “but she died when I was still very young.”</div>
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“I have lots of friends.” said Clippity, ashamed. “But they all seem very far away.”</div>
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“Well,” said Chloe, smiling, “it’s the easiest thing in the world to make friends. You just have to find the thing that’s special about you and believe in it. Have pride in your difference. You’re all exceptional creatures - who wouldn’t want to get to know an exceptional creature?”</div>
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And all five exceptional creatures became firm friends. They were all different. But they also knew that, like all things, they would change and grow. They grew around the things that made them different. And their friendship was a part of that. Making them all members of a community. A community which remained intact, even when Clippity was able to walk normally again. Even when, after much hard work and with the support of his friends, Clarence was a little less scared of the pain he could feel in the world. Even when Clara was able to move beyond the high-fenced pen with Clippity to lean upon.</div>
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They all gained strength from each other and they all found a home. Even Boris who flitted through the hedgerows, the leaves and branches stroking his scales. Boris, the tiny green dragon, was home.</div>
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The End</div>
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<u>A brief explanation</u></div>
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<audio controls="">
<source src="https://archive.org/download/clippity/clippity%20explanation.mp3"></source>
If you cannot see the audio controls, your browser does not support the audio element
</audio><br />
<a href="https://archive.org/download/clippity/clippity%20explanation.mp3"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Download the MP3</span></a>
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Two years ago, I wrote the first Clippity story for BADD2012. That was a story all about how people react to those with disabilities that keep them shut away from the world. This year I wanted to address some of the issues about the disability community (or the sometimes fractured remnants of what it should be).</div>
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I believe very strongly in the social model of disability and believe that the only way to properly deal with both a life as a disabled person and disability issues within a society is to follow this model. It is common to think about disability in an extremely narrow way - be it ‘wheelchair users’ (a pretty diverse bunch in their own right) or people with deafness, people on the autistic spectrum etc. I was lucky to spend a lot of time in a hospital school as a kid and so, early on, was used to thinking of limitations in a very broad sense (including people with behavioural issues who might not have a medical diagnosis at all).</div>
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This story was inspired by reading someone who felt very upset to see so many people with invisible conditions dominating the disability community as she saw it. Her childhood experiences of being very visibly different meant that she felt in an entirely separate position. Which of course she is. But just because we’re in different positions doesn’t mean we don’t suffer because of the same thing (societal restrictions/prejudices towards disabilities) and in a way that enables us to understand each other.</div>
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Of course, I have ended up using a few disability clichés - the slightly ethereal blind person and the duplicitous person of restricted growth. I hope I can be forgiven for these for the following reasons;</div>
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1 - we see that the dragon of restricted growth has been made very unhappy by an uncaring society. As soon as love is given, the character flaws disappear. That’s not the ‘just can’t help himself’ character you usually find in classic literature.</div>
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2 - The ethereal blind person is only ethereal in comparison because other people are blinded by anger - as soon as they lose their anger, so they are all equal.</div>
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Also, I’ve written this over the course of a few days when I’ve been quite poorly - I always find cliché comforting when I’m particularly unwell!</div>
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Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-17381397576786118602014-04-24T11:06:00.000+01:002014-04-24T11:10:52.190+01:00World Book Night - Manly Books for Manly Men<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
It’s always wise to state basics. So here we go.</div>
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<ul>
<li>I am a man.</li>
<li>I am 31 years old.</li>
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According to the statistics, 42% of adult males (like what I am) do not read for pleasure. Because of this, World Book Night, an initiative designed to help boost the cause of reading all around the world, is specifically targeting its efforts towards the hairy-backed half of humanity.</div>
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How kind! As a man, I so often feel that the world doesn’t do enough for me. I do have a few questions, though...</div>
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Why, if you’re wanting me to read more, are you cutting down the number of female authors you’re promoting with your night of books? Is there a problem with me reading the delicately typed prose of a fragile little authoress?</div>
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I guess this, in all seriousness, is the reason - that, as a man, I will be put off reading if it has a feminine voice, or perhaps focuses on female subjects. A book about posies and nosies and kittens and the like.</div>
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Romance. Mills and Boon. You can just tell that's what they have in mind. But lets look at the lovey-dovey genre. For one thing, I am sure there are a huge number of female romance authors. But look, I’ve known a few romance authors who were, in actual fact, men. Great big hairy men writing about romance. Can you even fathom it?</div>
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And it’s true - I don’t like reading romance. I don’t like watching romance either. Even though Groundhog Day and Moonrise Kingdom are in my top twenty best films ever. Nope, I don’t like romance. Not me.</div>
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<img border="0" src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2012/1/13/1326464689675/Moonrise-Kingdom-007.jpg" height="192" width="320" /></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Two young people holding hands. Definitely not romantic.</span></div>
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Me being a man, I like war! Especially the really mucky ones, like the First World War. That was a great war! There were rats and shell-shock and people being blown up and stuff. Now that’s manly, that is!</div>
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And what’s the best book about the first world war? Birdsong, right! Wrong. Despite having been written with the help of a full beard, Birdsong has a horribly torturous “romance” (in the genre sense alone) plot line which sours the entire text. It is a mess of a book I truly wish I’d never had to read. But I did because there was no other way of getting an A* in my English Lit A-level.</div>
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<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/science/birdsong.shtml" target="_blank"><img alt=" Bird Song" border="0" src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/science/images/blackbird198x90.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I do not want to encourage anyone to read Birdsong, but I do approve of listening to Bird Song.</span></div>
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Talking of that A-level, you’ll never guess what they made me do. Go on, guess. I was supposed to be reading a collection of WWI literature and what did they give me? Only a book by a woman! A woman! Can you imagine it! They didn’t even invent women until 1928!</div>
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But Pat Barker is a clever lady writerette. She must have imagined what it was like in the trenches and wrote, not one, but three whole books about it. Each book is five thousand times better than Birdsong. Which I guess makes Pat Barker fifteen thousand times more manly than Sebastian Faulks. Imagine what an amazing beard she must have grown!</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Regeneration-Trilogy-Door-Ghost/dp/024196914X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398333648&sr=8-1&keywords=regeneration+trilogy" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51mfrSZ7HfL._.jpg" height="320" width="208" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">The Regeneration Trilogy. So manly you could shave with it.</span></div>
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Oh it’s all so frustrating! Being rather a sheltered soul, I’d never come across this kind of attitude before a few years back. I remember Deb asking me about childhood prejudice against female authors and I thought...why would anyone be bothered about who wrote their books? Yes, I believe there’s such a thing as a feminine voice, but that’s of no more importance than, say, a regional voice. It doesn’t make something automatically better or worse. It’s something that can be taken advantage of in some situations. But it is, I repeat,<i> neither better nor worse</i>. It is not more or less suitable for consumption by a specific gender.</div>
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Genre...now genre I can understand. I don’t do romance. I might have mentioned that before. Of course, I have read almost every Anne McCaffrey book ever written. But they’re not romances, you understand. They’re all sci-fi and fantasy. Spaceships and Dragons.</div>
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One of my favourites - The Ship Who Searched - is a story all about mecha-conversion; a girl becomes a spaceship after an illness which strikes down her physical body. Encased in the shiny shell, the girl grows and becomes a woman who experiences the world through her ship’s sensors. She works in a team with a normally able assistant who happens to be male. And yes, they might end up kissing by the end of the book, but it’s definitely not a romance, right?</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ship-Who-Searched-Brain-Brawn-ebook/dp/B00B1EJLRW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398333758&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Ship+Who+Searched" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ANzyE6gzL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU02_.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">The Ship Who Searched. It's got a spaceship and weird viruses. Definitely not romantic either.</span></div>
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When Deb told me that World Book Night was targeting men, she asked me how they’d achieve this. Being in a funny mood, I answered;</div>
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<i>"World Naked Book Night? Or will they engrave a novel on an engine?"</i></div>
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<b>These are sensible suggestions in comparison</b>. You don’t make men feel more able to read by saying;</div>
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"Yeah, you’re right to be suspicious - if you read just anything, you might end up getting girliness in your eyes. But stick with us kid, and it’ll be pure testosterone we wire into your cortex."</div>
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And all this comes from such a dodgy set of statistics. 42% of men don’t read for pleasure. I know for a certainty that my father would say he doesn’t read for pleasure. And yet I’ve seen him sit with Woodworking Weekly for a good two hour stretch at a time. He will read the articles, ranging from simple instruction through to pretty deep biography and philosophy.</div>
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<a href="http://blobolobolob.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/all-books-we-read-in-2013.html" target="_blank">When Deb and I collected our consumption of literature last year</a>, she read many more novels than I did. However, I got through more magazines, more instructional blog posts etc. There is a lot more to a life of words than just novels.</div>
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Finally, I think it’s important just to emphasise this - Deb is a writer. In fact, she’s the best writer there is. And she’s a dudette. Anyone, even if they have chest hair, breasts, an overgrown sense of entitlement or tights - <b>ANYONE</b> should be able to enjoy her work.<!--EndFragment--><br />
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For better constructed and less ranty examinations of this travesty, see <a href="http://shandymediaclub.tumblr.com/post/83627301815/world-book-night-world-bollocks-night" target="_blank">The Shandy Media Project</a> and <a href="http://forbookssake.net/2014/04/22/world-book-night-2014/" target="_blank">For Books' Sake</a>Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-64348054729329322242014-04-18T12:28:00.000+01:002014-04-18T12:28:51.717+01:00Woodwork Therapy, the Power of YouTube and Community<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
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As the burning blubber fell around me, my heart raced and I felt the searing heat flash against my skin. I woke up with the smoky red sky still in my eyes. My heart rate and the pain in my skin were entirely real. The rest of the dream faded quickly with little upset. It was a good morning.</div>
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Sadly, nightmares are something I am used to. Most of the time, they are considerably worse than my incendiary sea mammal narrative. Heart rates are faster and pain is often much more intense. It is always harder to shrug off dream images when my physical state is worse. And so, over the years, I have come up with tactics; ways to break the dream cycles.</div>
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Almost all of these, barring Freecell, are internet based. I’ve followed in depth blog posts about engine rebuilds, kept up with a hundred different photographers and searched out <a href="http://www.rickiheller.com/2008/04/nut-roast-extraordinaire/" target="_blank">the best nut loaf recipe in the world</a>. <a href="http://youtube.com/" target="_blank">YouTube</a>, however, has been the single greatest success.</div>
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I remember years ago saying ‘Why on earth would any television channel worry about YouTube? No one has the sheer resources or ready-made audience of a television company - YouTube could never be a significant threat.’ And yet now, the majority of my televisual experience comes through the ‘tube. And, perhaps surprisingly, one of the most successful groups grasping the potential of internet broadcasting are woodworkers.</div>
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There is a large group of individuals who have set up channels in which they post videos detailing projects and tips. Their content and style (and, arguably, quality) vary tremendously, but they have created a very real thing - a community.</div>
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I intend to write another blog post detailing the channels I follow and why they are so special, but before that, I’d like to talk about the concept of community and the power found in that. I’d also like to look at quite why this amazing shift in the way I consume media has happened.</div>
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I remember a time when the UK television channel “4” was an exciting and individual broadcaster. It had bizarrly addictive programmes like Watercolour Challenge. It would show experimental, student created films early in the morning (which I would carefully video and watch the next day. Even the one about the suicidal fork lift operator). It made television, not with the single aim of matching well known formats and consolodating their demographics, but to give something to their audience to learn with and grow from.</div>
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BBC2 was much the same with its now dead Open University slot. My father did a post-grad degree with the OU and I remember all the recorded early morning programmes... although, this being the BBC, there were fewer fork lifts and many more beards. Either way, with the aid of VCR tapes we both learnt an awful lot from these outlets</div>
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Learning has gone out of style. Even the best programmes recently (The Great British Sewing Bee, for example, is one we all enjoy) are extremely light on instruction. Much more time is spent on personality, struggle and journey. There has to be jeopardy - people fail and leave a programme rather than staying, learning and eventually improving.</div>
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And you can see why this has come about. These massive institutions are expensive to run. They need people to engage in human drama so that they buy the books and matching cookery utensils. They need the phone-in cash, the sponsorship and, most importantly, the fame. If millions don’t tune in, then they’ve failed.</div>
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And in pops YouTube. It costs precisely nothing to create your own little broadcasting company. A little cash for a camera and a computer on which to edit and you’re away. A little more money and you can end up with videos which are a little scary in their professionalism. I recently watched <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ResD6_4xK0" target="_blank">a video meme created by a teenage girl about her book collection</a> with special effects on a par with anything a mainstream television channel could do. Astonishing.</div>
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So why have woodworkers taken such advantage of this? Well, firstly, woodworking is a very visual process. We’ve recently rewatched Breaking Bad and my favourite scene remains Jessie’s hallucination towards the end of the final series - carefully working on a beautiful wooden box. There’s not much in wood work that isn’t aesthetically lovely. And it really is capable of providing an escape.</div>
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Secondly, woodworkers are used to creating groups. My father is part of a woodturning group which gathers mainly to gossip. But if he needed help with a certain project, they could provide it. There are magazine and books. Professionals hold days of tuition and guidance.</div>
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Third - woodwork is seldom about doing things in the easiest way possible. Necessarily, then, any wood worker is a bit of a show off.<b> *And there is NOTHING bad about this</b>*. Showing off our achievements and skill is a great thing and people should be very proud of the things they’ve learnt. And the thing about show offs is they often make good presenters.</div>
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Now, the other benefit you have with YouTube vs traditional television companies is size. Small, independent broadcasters mean many more broadcasters. I regularly (ie at least once a week) watch about seven different woodworkers. That number rises drastically if you include people who post less regularly - maybe closer to thirty. They all effect each other, causing quick growth and evolution. </div>
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Of course, the negative side of individuals acting as broadcasting companies can be significant. Criticism is necessarily personal and must hurt a great deal. It also means that petty arguments can spring up easily. If you’re a huge, amorphous broadcasting being, you are protected to quite a large extent.</div>
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But it also means that when things go right, the result is a very personal triumph. I think this video demonstrates this well. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/stevinmarin" target="_blank">Woodworking for Mere Mortals</a> is a fun channel which aims for relatively quick projects achievable with a relatively basic tool set. It is bright, fast and engaging. Steve Ramsey has expanded, creating<a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/steveinmarin" target="_blank"> a second channel for vlog style analysis of his life and what’s going on in the wood working community</a> he sees so clearly from his position in the middle of it. We also get to share in the differences he makes to the individuals that make up said community</div>
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<a href="http://youtu.be/YmbT6jJG4us?t=5m50s" target="_blank">Here's a link to the section of the video I'm thinking of if you want to skip the rest.</a><br />
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Well, Steve, along with all the rest of the YouTube woodworkers, help me on a daily basis. I wake up, as I have said, in great pain, often disoriantated and, frankly, a bit scared. I get to share in their creations and skills even when I’m unable to get out of bed. And, despite not being able to exercise my woodworking skills as much as I’d like to be able, I am made to feel a part of the woodworking community, even if I seldom so much as comment. That’s a tremendous thing.</div>
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<a href="http://tinyurl.com/BADD2014" target="_blank">Blogging Against Disablism Day</a> will be coming soon and, as I have the last few years, I’ll be helping Deb with collecting the deluge of posts and getting them all published on her blog, <a href="http://blobolobolob.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">Diary of a Goldfish</a>. It is seldom I feel as much a member of the disability community as I do the woodworking community. But every 1st of May that changes.</div>
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There are lessons to learn from woodworkers about pride, showing off and working together as (an at times disfunctional) family. And I think that there are many people with disabilities who could learn from them. Pride is the key word - It’s hard for some to see how people with disabilities might be able to feel pride given that disability denotes a lack of something.<br />
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But think about it - a woodworker is basically someone who finds quarter-sawn oak and birch plywood more interesting than almost anything else in the entire world. They’re people who actually know the difference between a rip cut blade and a cross cut blade. What’s that if not a lack of something fundamental, right?* But we ignore that and focus on the amazing things they produce. Those things usually differ in style, construction and subject. The only thing that brings them together is the spirit from which it’s produced.</div>
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Likewise disabled people do things every day which differ in style, construction and subject. The shared spirit is the thing that can bring us together into a community - a group of people who share pride in themselves as a collective and the individual things they achieve.</div>
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And yet pride is not encouraged or instilled in people with disabilities. There is an assumption that if a disabled person is not suffering, somehow they’re not doing their ‘job’. Their disability will be questioned. It’s such a shame - I constantly see people qualify the good things in their life with some sort of limitation just to hammer home the point that, yes, this might be a good thing I've done, but everything else is awfully hard. There is another extreme to this - the phenomenon known as the super-crip - an individual of such superhuman resolve and drive that they overcome the difficulties of their disability and become something amazing. And you don’t have to be following the news that closely to know how badly that can turn out...</div>
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We need to overcome these fears and believe in ourselves. And if you struggle to see that, wait until Thursday the 1st of May - Blogging Against Disablism Day is coming and it’s going to be amazing.<!--EndFragment--><br />
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<span style="color: #999999; font-size: xx-small;">* I jest. A bit.</span>Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-22385704593349225342013-08-27T23:00:00.000+01:002013-08-27T23:00:49.278+01:00My Tie Bride
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Before I met Deborah, the last bit of sewing I’d done was as a 5 year old in primary school using that large gauge needle and cloth combination that resembles sewing into a potato waffle using a crossbow bolt threaded with climbing rope. But in the last couple of years, Deb has taught me the black arts of sewing.</div>
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We started off making a v-shaped pillow cover out of curtain fabric. Although the two pillow cases are of significantly different size (making one pillow mellow and floppy, and the other rather uptight and aloof), the overall impression was better than I’d ever hoped.</div>
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We’ve not had time and energy for many textile projects, but with the wedding approaching there was one rather major task needing a firm grasp of the needle and thread - Deb wanted to make her own dress. And not just any dress - years ago, she saw a dress made entirely of ties. She has searched the wide old internet high and low, but even between us googling in tandem, we just cannot find that original image of inspiration. But it was always just that - an idea, inspiration. The true design was more than that; a thing entirely of Deborah’s mind and heart.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEBt-31aV-cJjWfUVgj9kF3K65QOphZZpnQroLsnkdV_vV8igi0uFdb9gXLGNhfDfA0I1n8ziGtHmJK0kRbp71lqZgLJx_F27pqut2vF-4aQwG74jO6onPscqlZhfTi5hnsHUSqNEf5y8/s1600/fabric.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEBt-31aV-cJjWfUVgj9kF3K65QOphZZpnQroLsnkdV_vV8igi0uFdb9gXLGNhfDfA0I1n8ziGtHmJK0kRbp71lqZgLJx_F27pqut2vF-4aQwG74jO6onPscqlZhfTi5hnsHUSqNEf5y8/s320/fabric.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thistle flowers and tie-covered-corset</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
The design started with a corset top. How exciting! A sewing project requiring a hacksaw! And a couple of rolls of duct tape! On reflection, that sounds a lot less like textile design and more like an episode of Dexter. But no, thankfully the only thing to be dismembered was a rather elderly t-shirt. Let me explain. We started off dressing Deb in said old t-shirt and then wrapped her in the tape, nice and tight. She had put on an not made-to-measure corset underneath, figuring that, although it would add thickness, the appropriate shaping would more than make up for this. Fully wrapped in tape, we then cut down the back of the t-shirt (severing the corset ribbons on the way - woops!) and we were left with a perfect duct tape-cast of her torso. We were then able to cut it into sections (which we’d marked and numbered while it was still on her) which would later become the panels. The joins of each panel would also be the point where each steel bone would be sewn.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
This was a tricky job and required a <i>lot</i> of hand-sewing. Which is a good thing, as I discovered that I enjoy hand-sewing a lot more than using a sewing machine. Sewing machines are evil creatures which I still don’t fully understand. Also, given the nature of fabric (clothes-making would be a lot simpler if we wore things made out of sensible materials like, say, oak) sewing the curves into the shape on a machine would have been tricky to say the least.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
The boning was fixed using the padding material found inside ties. Have I not mentioned them yet? Because by this point we’d unpicked thirty-six ties, removed the padding and labels and I had then ironed each and every one. The trickiest aspect of that? The smell! Imagine thirty-six different gentlemen, all after-shaved to the hilt. Then add heat, steam and an enclosed space. But straight away, seeing the mix of colours and patterns, you could see where the dress was going. Deb really did do a great job picking them all out (from a store of maybe fifty - a mix of eBay finds along with some from our wonderful friend Victoria who helped by picking some up from charity shops).</div>
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<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC9nNXtV6wRuzQY9SxIkWCUsS2nuUgiJKoiwDItZBTxSmolKq6Rq6xVT0s_QikcLDdAMM6AeYP6FP6QvBCTPNN6Ci8dLoq51_pbCrC4gXhEeJhoi0R_zEFKP2Py0Stx4Ph861vOq-f1IA/s1600/hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC9nNXtV6wRuzQY9SxIkWCUsS2nuUgiJKoiwDItZBTxSmolKq6Rq6xVT0s_QikcLDdAMM6AeYP6FP6QvBCTPNN6Ci8dLoq51_pbCrC4gXhEeJhoi0R_zEFKP2Py0Stx4Ph861vOq-f1IA/s320/hands.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tie patterns and hands</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
So yes, padded bones in place and with the lining cut and tacked, it was then time to affix the outer panels.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The outer panels were made from the tie fabric, carefully sewn together (by Deb on the machine, thankfully) and then ironed onto interfacing. This not only gave more strength, it helped us to deal with the complicated shapes. Once again these were sewn together to make effectively <i>another</i> corset, and this was then all hand-sewn together, doing our best to keep everything aligned. Bias binding was used to finish the inside edge.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
That might sound a little complicated. It was, and you can see from my lack of clarity that even now I don’t fully understand what we did! </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
However, I’m very sure how we dealt with the lacing. In good time, we’d ordered a wonderful hand press tool from eBay which we felt would make the setting of eyelets considerably easier. It was still a tough job, as we were punching through layers of tie, , interfacing, heavy twill cotton and lining material. However, we managed to fit eyelets every inch down the ends of the corset. It was simply tied with ribbon.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
After all that, the skirt seemed like a much easier project (especially as I had very little to do with it!). The skirt was effectively made in three pieces - there’s a short pencil-type skirt with narrow pieces of tie running vertically (two panels sewn together and then shaped), a dividing horizontal single tie, and then a second skirt running down to her ankles, made by just sewing the bottom parts of the ties together, and so naturally flaring with the tie shape. The skirt was finished at the last minute with a zip and some elastic. </div>
<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8FtMvBrVFIp8OW9gE_oYDXkyZC93gDfCa-Sh2t9cz2E_6c3dOLk90WEDNDIu8YSCB-EiSpDsGhSfd9mJUnBfZGhleqQNbdcQbY9sraTgSIvNEq6HJdPm4CUmFhw8tMfi2U88B0qlDq9s/s1600/dress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8FtMvBrVFIp8OW9gE_oYDXkyZC93gDfCa-Sh2t9cz2E_6c3dOLk90WEDNDIu8YSCB-EiSpDsGhSfd9mJUnBfZGhleqQNbdcQbY9sraTgSIvNEq6HJdPm4CUmFhw8tMfi2U88B0qlDq9s/s320/dress.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finished dress</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
And there we go - that’s all there was to it. It took us many months, working when we were able. But we were both really pleased with the result. And I think I love it all the more for it being both our creation and also a demonstration of our ability to work together, pooling our different abilities and ideas. And, of course, Deb looks amazing wearing it!</div>
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</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCns6vI5v4EBL9tewmpgFmukzBeOnRUymlpIKqYwkcob6MUiwlAvQxVHPUEnC3Qfv-rabtp7T9q63A9I9-AR2dL3Z9ikEnetGKmGVPT4Fg_KdTXcbc6MF_HzFeWxIt9_ZDDpaW3WR1E00/s1600/us.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCns6vI5v4EBL9tewmpgFmukzBeOnRUymlpIKqYwkcob6MUiwlAvQxVHPUEnC3Qfv-rabtp7T9q63A9I9-AR2dL3Z9ikEnetGKmGVPT4Fg_KdTXcbc6MF_HzFeWxIt9_ZDDpaW3WR1E00/s320/us.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Deb and I standing together, her wearing the dress, me in my suit.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-42439818452432720402013-05-01T00:02:00.002+01:002013-05-01T00:02:36.108+01:00BADD2013: Demi-Wife (3/3)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/aPOMHM6waxk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
All the time that I've spent thinking about writing this blog post, I have had The Decemberists 'Crane Wife' in my head. As such, I suggest you give it a listen as you read (or see the lyrics <a href="http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858618548/" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858618542/" target="_blank">here</a>).<br />
<br />
As much as the tech I've written about makes me a very lucky chap indeed, there's something that makes me even luckier. It makes a lottery win look mundane.
A narrow escape from a sticky end seem every day. A large portion of chips when you only ordered a regular...well...perhaps it's on a par with that.<br />
<br />
What am I talking about? Well, I am now (sort of) Mr Goldfish. Deborah and I recently went to Weybridge registry office in the middle of an unseasonable
blizzard (which I choose not to take as some kind of supernatural sign) and got legally hitched. Not that things are ever that straight forward for us. And
the funny thing is, that's not actually a bad thing at all.<br />
<br />
You see, with our health, Deb and I are both used to the concept of pacing. We have to take weeks to accomplish something someone might do in an afternoon.
We break up the task with rests, sometimes having to change to a different task if, for example, it is something which, done too often, leads to a dramatic
increase in pain. Pacing. It's one of the greatest leasons a chronically poorly person can learn. Because without it, it's all too easy to become
frustrated.<br />
<br />
I have noticed, however, that when applied to something like a wedding, which is a very public event and one which involves other people directly, if they
don't get the concept of pacing, they can misread the event entirely.<br />
<br />
Our registry office do became significantly larger than we'd anticipated. Honestly I think we'd both felt that we might have two parents there, mainly as
wheelchair pushers. Four parents max (which is lucky as we only have the four). This number tripled. Not that that's a bad thing - it was very nice
having everyone there. But an event which we thought of as just a legal doodah suddenly became quite a bit more daunting.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8tV0RqalsLAUwCoecfDaOhxX9eiDC-fu-sDTpWD6Lun3YBnMoQDGIP6b58kzZUtJpIZEpy_XT2cK5h0_9I2zKIPGXfiqX3IvgtevQhksiRJ0Z1E5FXI6UawYsqhMpjoTjPIjzwWdWhUw/s1600/_MG_6931.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Registry office group portrait" border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8tV0RqalsLAUwCoecfDaOhxX9eiDC-fu-sDTpWD6Lun3YBnMoQDGIP6b58kzZUtJpIZEpy_XT2cK5h0_9I2zKIPGXfiqX3IvgtevQhksiRJ0Z1E5FXI6UawYsqhMpjoTjPIjzwWdWhUw/s320/_MG_6931.jpg" title="Registry office group portrait" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Deborah, Stephen, Granny, Alex and Sophie.<br />
Sophie might have been a bit happy, but it's so hard to tell with her.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
This does serve as a prime example of why pacing is so important - it took us quite a while to recover from such a big event. If we'd tried to do things
traditionally, we'd not have made it through the day.<br />
<br />
So come late July, we'll be finishing the job we started with our own, specially planned day with the absolute minimum of stress and with everything
carefully planned. And of course, those plans will never go absolutely smoothly, but because of the way we're doing things, if there is a hickup, we will be
able to raise our voices, shout 'All right you horrible lot, we're starting that bit over and stop your complaining' and everything will be fine. Having
such a period of time in between means that we have been able to spend time organising one section without worrying too much about the next. And we should,
barring Deb's toe trying to fall off, be as healthy as possible come the day.<br />
<br />
My parents get this - my mother's chronically ill and my father has worked in special schools most of his life. Deb's parents find it a bit more difficult
to fathom, but are doing surprisingly well. I think that they saw that the registry office do really wasn't that meaningful and I think, as time moves on
and the concept of a fish and chip wedding lunch becomes a bit less alien, they can see why this means so much to us. It's also, I hope, clear to see that
we're both truly excited about July.<br />
<br />
But I am aware that, because our marriage will not be conventional (which, as much as I could try to blame it on disability, is perhaps equally to do with
the kind of people we both are), there are people who might not quite get it. In the same way that same-sex marriage, or inter-faith marriage, or, heaven
help us, marriage between people who feel differently about chorizzo sausage, might be considered not quite official and meaningful. Not quite real.<br />
<br />
But what do they matter?<br />
<br />
In other posts I've spoken about tech, both special and widely adopted, and how important it is to me. So I wanted to tie them together with the wedding.<br />
<br />
Firstly, walking sticks.<br />
<br />
You know that a walking stick is an intrinsic part of your sense of self when you're watching a good film, have sunk so deeply into it that you have become
the hero, and, watching them wander out of their front door, think to yourself, "Idiot, you've forgotten your walking stick!"<br />
<br />
My walking stick is a part of me. And so, I have to have the right one for the wedding. Yep, I have several! And as I try to create the perfect ensemble
(more on which later), so I have to choose the perfect stick. Should I choose the eagle-headed stick? The dragon from Cyprus my father picked up for me?
Or should I go with the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knobkierrie" target="_blank">knobkerrie</a> my sister bought me when she went up Kilimanjaro? I'm still not 100% certain, but I think I am favouring the dragon.<br />
<br />
I hope that being able to consider my stick as an intrinsic part of the outfit means that I am fully accepting of it as a part of who I am without that
having any negative connotations. In the same way as I am accepting of my glasses.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsg2uNU6TX6ty5SmrpRoyW0-FR5trp9kCn9UBT7i0PGUBB44P4ZTpKSQT6N_LNL20FBV5SdfYj4O6SU-SO6jHWl-50VKh3qtt_-o5epTVc9x1yeoDCw6NROGV_9Aa_hlzghnsP7irnq94/s1600/April+028.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Cassie, Stephen and partly made shoes" border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsg2uNU6TX6ty5SmrpRoyW0-FR5trp9kCn9UBT7i0PGUBB44P4ZTpKSQT6N_LNL20FBV5SdfYj4O6SU-SO6jHWl-50VKh3qtt_-o5epTVc9x1yeoDCw6NROGV_9Aa_hlzghnsP7irnq94/s320/April+028.JPG" title="Cassie, Stephen and partly made shoes" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cassie inspected my partly-made shoes from<br />
Green Shoes, and decided that they really should<br />
have been black...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Then there is all the help we've had from conventional tech. We booked the registry office on the strength of its website combined with the help of google maps and streetview. EBay has been our constant companion and, as Deb is making her own dress with a rather unusual fabric, we'd not have been able to source it easily any other way (although we did have some help from friends who could access charity shops...). I have always wanted a made-to-measure suit, and indeed I have one ordered. No visiting a tailor - Deb measured me up and everything has been ordered online from <a href="http://www.suitopia.co.uk/en/" target="_blank">Suitopia</a>. In a display of blatant
greed, I have also ordered made-to-measure boots from <a href="http://www.greenshoes.co.uk/" target="_blank">Green Shoes</a> to match. I will write more about both of these on another day - but as a disabled man who
would have a slightly hellish time clothes shopping otherwise, these internet-accessable busineses have been a real blessing.<br />
<br />
On the day, we want a small do. We'd not cope with having all of our friends there, and indeed, many of our friends would simply not be able to travel and
cope with the ceremony. So we will hopefully be setting up a live video stream for all those people who can't manage it. This is, I think, one of my
favourite bits of our system. It, along with several other ways of doing things, has made a day that will be inclusive. It will allow everyone to be
involved in the ways they can be. And that is, at the heart of all things, the essence of love. Love is inclusion. An understanding and acceptance of
people and things as they are. Love does not seek to change.<br />
<br />
Which reminds me of this - perhaps one of my favourite bible verses;<br />
<br />
<i>Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it
does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never
ends.</i><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(1 Corinthians 13:4–8a)</span><br />
<br />
So, in my mind, disability has helped to teach me all these things. I have become less rigid, more yielding, and yet I also have the strength to endure for
the things I believe in. I have a confidence which does not stem from showing off. I do not look at the ways of others and feel envy, because I am certain
of and happy with myself (whilst, I hope, being entirely accepting of other people's beliefs). And I know that, although disability can make me feel
physically fragile, I can see my soul underneath and know its nature. And that it is eternal.
<br />
<br />
All that because I'm poorly. And because I met the right poorly girl to share a world with. A world which you're all a part of.Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-48849281229527781782013-05-01T00:02:00.001+01:002013-05-01T00:02:22.969+01:00BADD2013: Tech Expands the World (2/3)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOOIhwjFxVnBbba4xROCqAWk5fOIbjaOu8pr7oN9cJA0cXEYR4Ls8aGDDP3ooLZ8B22DLdqoBlh_WJX1nOE-niaLRnmvK4KJDhkxEp0Vt5ytYKT7dtKCSmGYBOxjqlKPPSKhDyPRbxFkM/s1600/266246_288069154627453_1252512276_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Sophie and Stephen reading" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOOIhwjFxVnBbba4xROCqAWk5fOIbjaOu8pr7oN9cJA0cXEYR4Ls8aGDDP3ooLZ8B22DLdqoBlh_WJX1nOE-niaLRnmvK4KJDhkxEp0Vt5ytYKT7dtKCSmGYBOxjqlKPPSKhDyPRbxFkM/s320/266246_288069154627453_1252512276_o.jpg" title="Sophie and Stephen reading" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When caught without a copy of the Iliad to read<br />
to an unsuspecting infant, a smart phone<br />
really comes into its own.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Having written about special technology which would benefit from being diffused out into general usage, I would now like to write about general technology
which makes my life as a disabled chap so much brighter.<br />
<br />
My phone is with me all the time. And yet, I very seldom use it to talk (or even to text) people. It is there <br />
almost exclusively for internet related jobs.
Now, I know that this is quite normal. Everyone with a smart phone has the same access to information at all times. So why do I feel that it especially
benefits me as a person with a disability?<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Weight </b>- my laptop isn't a heavy one, but when in pain, it can be hard to rest a laptop on my lap without it being a bit uncomfortable. With a phone, it can
be propped or held with minimal physical effort. It's also possible to hold it at angles with which my laptop would not be happy. So on those occasions when my body needs to be bent in such a way as to resemble a slightly deformed pretzel in order to gain some relief, I can still shop on eBay. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Noise </b>- my laptop's a noisy old thing. It will need upgrading soon and hopefully the new model might be a bit more quiet, but even so there are mornings
when I've woken up early, dreams interupted by the pain, and rather than switch on my laptop and risk waking up Deb, I'm able to use my silent phone. (It must be noted that I have played YouTube videos, confident that Deb won't be disturbed thanks to the headphones I'm wearing, only to then find
out that my headphones might be on my head, but they're not actually plugged in to the phone...)</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Alarms </b>- I remember my old gran's alarm clock. It had a red hand you moved to the time you wanted it to ring, and ring it would - with an actual physical
bell. How on earth she coped with both the aural assault and the one alarm limit, I'll never know. My phone has a huge number of alarms set to ring
throughout the day*. There are different tones to identify whether it's Deb or I who are being commanded to take tablets. Without these I know I'd be lost.
And then there are the incidental alarms - something ending on eBay, a radio programme I might otherwise miss, or a phonecall I need to make. When lost in
symptoms or drug-haze, a digital reminder can make life so much easier and safer. </li>
</ul>
Whether on my phone or laptop, YouTube has become surprisingly important to me. I always rolled my eyes when people talked of YouTube being a threat to
television channels, but it is so true in my case. I watch at least an equal amount of YouTube videos to actual television (excluding films). Every morning
I check my YouTube subscriptions and recommendations. I will write more about these in the future, but each day I watch cheaply produced films made by
amateurs who tell me more about interesting subjects than I am ever likely to see on television. This gives me a real sense of having learned about things;
enriching my existence and making me a more capable human being, even if I'm not absolutely physically capable of all the things I've learnt.<br />
<br />
Then there's social media. It's always hard when people attack social media as some kind of den of iniquity. It's usually people with no knowledge and
experience who get the wrong end of a stick handed out by the dark drip-feed of a traditional media which lives in terror of its own death. Social Media is
literally what you make it, because it is based on a society you have complete power over. Don't like someone on your feed? Like ancient Athens, you have
access to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostracon">ostracons </a>- you can exile them and rid your world of a dissenting voice. You can follow the lives of a thousand different people, and see what
is important to them. The world expands, and so we care about each and every corner of it.<br />
<br />
Of course, the downfall of this customised society comes if we forget that it is an individual construct and that a larger society outside of our direct and
total control lives on and can threaten us (and, in turn, can be threatened and harmed by us). However, people can and have buried their collective bonces
in the dust for millenia past - that's not going to stop over night. And Social Media allows us to monitor and talk about this Big Society in a way we
couldn't before.<br />
<br />
Also, when we do talk about things online, we're not limited to voice (or text). When Deb and I talk with family and friends, we're able to do so face to
face. Skype really has made a huge difference to me. When I am away from my family, being able to call and both talk to and see them makes me feel much
more at ease. Also, you get to see dogs who have relatively little to say on the phone.<br />
<br />
Finally, there are the pictures. Call me infantile, but I like pictures. Picture books, photos, paintings, sketches, gifs... A picture paints a thousand
words, and with flickr and facebook, instagram, 500px and yfrog, our world is full of beautiful, multicoloured thoughts and feelings we might never see
otherwise - especially if we can't easily leave our rooms. I love it when someone photographs their lunch. I welcome every picture of a yarn-bombed tree.
Each carefully quilled portrait and beautifully lit news-story. The internet, however I access it, broadens my horizon quite literally and I love watching
the world through the eyes of the infinite.
<br />
<br />
Other than the physical comfort afforded by my phone, there is an overarching theme to all these things - the lack of mobility that disability enforces, and
the shrinking of ones' world thanks to social prejudice. But not only has tech allowed us access to socialisation, shopping, learning and the free and
natural beauty of the world (and people's interpretations of it), it has also allowed us the opportunity to project ourselves into the public conscious. The
possibility that someone can see your face rather than just talking to you on the phone** means that the exquisite variety of disabled faces become less
radical, and so makes them more easy to appreciate and admire. Social media allows for energy-efficient communication with a large number of people, and
also helps to empower (even though I worry about the nature of some disability cabals on the net). And If I can watch a video on woodworking and comment on
it as a disabled man who has an interest and appreciation of such things, then the carpenter who made it can know that someone who can't just pick up a
hammer cares as much as he about such a large part of his life. We are joined, no matter how briefly, and the social restrictions and prejudices fall away.
Tech has the great potential to project our souls out into the world where it is not easy for us to be. And I believe that this will help to change the
world in ways that will make it easier for us to inhabit it.<br />
<br />
So thank you, world. Thank you for bypassing some of the restrictions on my life through widely adopted tech. It makes me happy and hopeful.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">*I even had an alarm go off on the way to the registry office - In 15 minutes you need to get married, my phone told me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">** The possibility of skype calls with doctors is something I'm very much hoping for.</span>Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-30551593011050288862013-05-01T00:01:00.000+01:002013-05-01T00:01:00.903+01:00BADD2013: A Sticky Situation (1/3)There was a time when speech recognition software was about as specialist as tech got. I remember in the dark old days of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon_NaturallySpeaking" target="_blank">Dragon NaturallySpeaking 4</a> wowing people with the barely understandable translations offered me after an hour training my PC to the individual cadence of my speech by bellowing out, steadily, in a Newsreader voice, a section from Alice in Wonderland. Things move on, and now, not only has the process simplified remarkably and become a genuine alternative to typing (<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/blobolob/5881929786/in/photostream" target="_blank">almost</a>), the integration of this tech into smart phones has removed the associations it once had with disability.<br />
<br />
I recently read a <a href="http://www.academia.edu/962190/Toward_Engagement_Exploring_the_Prospects_for_an_Integrated_Anthropology_of_Disability" target="_blank">wonderful article about disability in anthropology/archaeology</a> on the same day that I read through one of Deb's blog post comments in which she explained how she interprets the Social Model of Disability. There is a simplicity about the concept I greatly admire - in fact, more than that, it
makes me feel safe. All the best theories do, as they pin down the messes of reality into a manageable lump. So, in the words of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZaJv3-BV3A" target="_blank">Aimee Mann, this is how it goes</a>;<br />
<br />
<i>Society is what disables us. And that disability can be caused by many different things - physical impairment, emotional distress and even prejudice itself. The impairments are unique and different, but we are united as a group by our universal experience of social disablism. </i><br />
<br />
My father is a great man. He has <i>always </i>kept me safe, whilst encouraging me to be as independent as possible. He has never felt embarrassed about my inability to do normal things, and, indeed, has never acted in a way that has encouraged <i>me </i>to feel embarrassed about my health and the accommodations needed to live with it.<br />
<br />
In the last couple of years, my father's health has taken a turn for the worst. I always knew this would be a difficult time. Several times my father has
said <i>"It's a good thing you're poorly - I'd never cope as well as you do"</i>. And, indeed, he doesn't. But still, I wasn't expecting to hear from him what I
did just a few months back.<br />
<br />
<i>"Well, I went down to the Post Office today with my walking stick looking like a really doddery old man."</i><br />
<br />
I have been using a walking stick for many, many years. There was a time when I was embarrassed to use it; propping it out of sight if there was someone
about who I didn't totally trust. But as I had fewer falls, felt more stable in general and could get in and out of chairs without copious groaning, I was
able to get over it. And getting over it was, as with pretty much every problem I've ever had, something my dad's laid back attitude helped with.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjut9_LeMMa4SWBlsC2xnrbUGlMc_6jxo7FWKlHjRjy62D-EtckHLQ2LCtsrjgomeGSoiyThQlLVGVTKQh3lxg77WRZNRys_7XJBb4mLlW4Ngw0NvJ06iq6WuEwD9iNJ8AoVgwP2nVrM55v/s1600/2013-04-25+15.15.38.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjut9_LeMMa4SWBlsC2xnrbUGlMc_6jxo7FWKlHjRjy62D-EtckHLQ2LCtsrjgomeGSoiyThQlLVGVTKQh3lxg77WRZNRys_7XJBb4mLlW4Ngw0NvJ06iq6WuEwD9iNJ8AoVgwP2nVrM55v/s320/2013-04-25+15.15.38.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Pillbox sensitively labelled "Baldwin's Nervous Pills"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
And yet he really struggles with his stick.
And that's awful. Because he doesn't mind using this pillbox I bought him a while back. And perhaps most importantly because he's the one who actually
<i>bought </i>Dragon NaturallySpeaking all those years ago. He sat there just as I did reading aloud out-of-copywrite text for hours on end to try to get the
computer to recognise what he was saying. He didn't feel bad about it then - it was just another gadget to get excited over.<br />
<br />
And this is what is so interesting - tech of whatever kind falls into a spacific space.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li> Acceptable tech for general use. </li>
<li>Specialist tech that remains funky. </li>
<li>And specialist tech for the 'Special'. </li>
</ul>
And it's not as if a walking stick has always been for the 'Special'.
Take <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beau_Brummell" target="_blank">Beau Brummell</a>. There's a rather wonderful <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Beau_Brummell_Statue_Jermyn_Street.JPG" target="_blank">statue of him</a> in Jermyn Street, London - a road almost exclusively populated by posh men's clothing shops
(what do you mean you didn't think <i>I'd</i> know about shops like that?). He stands there looking rather elegant and extremely confident. And although I'm not
sure that a stick that delicate would be resilient enough for a chap of my weight, <i>he </i>brandishes it without the slightest hint of embarrassment.<br />
<br />
<i>"To be truly elegant one should not be noticed." </i><br />
<br />
Brummel said that. Now, I'm not sure I fully agree with him, but presuming that he wanted to be elegant, he wasn't going to be doing something which he felt
would make him look "Special" in that horrible inverted commas kind of way. It was a gadget which was as stylish as it was functional.
And this is why we should rethink the walking stick. I've seen some pimped walking sticks complete with torches, grabbers and panic alarms. But that doesn't equate to style. Style needs something a bit less
worthy...<br />
<br />
So my ideas for a new line of respectable walking sticks appropriate of all walks (and staggers) of life;<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Sword Stick</b> - there is something undoubtedly cool about a sword stick. I know they are incredibly illegal in most countries now. But in the UK at
least, there has been a dramatic increase in incidents of disability hate crime on the streets. So would arming the disabled populace really be such a bad
idea?</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Medicinal Tipple Stick</b> - I do not want in any way to encourage irresponsible use of alcohol (which says a lot about me when I have no problem at all with
suggesting that disabled people should hack their tormentors to pieces), but the tipple stick was cool for many of the same reasons why I always wanted a
sword stick. So, rather than secreting a stash of booze under the handle of your walking stick, why not replace that with a stash of medicine? But only the
good stuff - the stuff a non-disabled person might be willing to knock over a Boots for. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>GPS Walking Stick</b> - <a href="http://www.pocket-lint.com/news/119794-fujitsu-gps-walking-stick-pictures-hands-on" target="_blank">Fujitsu actually got to this one before me, and didn't they do a nice job</a>? The GPS stick reminds me of these <a href="http://www.techdigest.tv/2012/09/gps_brogue_shoe.html" target="_blank">rather lovely GPS brogues</a> but makes much
more sense given that the shoes rely, not only on having two feet, but also an unrestricted view of them (and, having discovered a particularly nice red-wine
soaked goats cheese at Tesco, it's possible that in a few years time I might not be able to see my feet any more). </li>
</ul>
Obviously of the three, the GPS stick is the most sensible. It is also, however, very exciting - we can incorporate tech into so many things, and with good design
we can make them desirable and stylish. Imagine a swagger-stick with built in bluetooth connecting to your phone. A series of LEDs along the shaft of the
stick scrolling messages from your twitter stream, sharing with the world the collective wit of your social circle.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.impactlab.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/wall-e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="215" src="http://www.impactlab.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/wall-e.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Screenshot from the film Wall-e showing a levitating<br />
power-chair user drinking from a large cup whilst our<br />
hero, the yellow robot Wall-e, watches.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The dystopian horror of universal mobility in the otherwise excellent film <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910970/" target="_blank">Wall-e</a> is its one flaw - the truth is that as soon as a technology loses its
stigma, we open society up to true equality. And that equality does not mean that we all become lazy - indeed, that attitude just demonstrates an intrinsic
belief that people who cannot walk are lazy wasters who aren't really trying hard enough. And it's all madness anyway - people expend energy driving
themselves when they might be chauffeured via public transport. They walk and run and cycle for FUN. And they even visit gyms. And they do all of those
things whether they're disabled or not.<br />
<br />
Lazy people will always be lazy. But most people aren't, and having pieces of technology available which can help
them when they need it and which, most importantly, don't make them feel doddery when using it, will only help to keep them active and productive longer.Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-67028517600731867052013-04-30T11:18:00.000+01:002013-04-30T11:18:07.905+01:00BADD 2013<a href="http://tinyurl.com/BADD2013" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2013" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5IQ9FH2fEobwggzu39W9z-JxzHSfcodXCC9IpKlJFlhfp-vrbxVtw0CYf8x_KX9qfqn4eI6QlCKElYtez0svjdboTZAmlldDlhVwplq8yaN-aiZX2Hn3KW0dF0Skde9fn_vtU4FKkEwI/s320/bad01.gif" title="Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2013" /></a>Tomorrow is <a href="http://blobolobolob.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/blogging-against-disablism-day-2013.html" target="_blank">Blogging Against Disablism 2013</a>. This year I shall be writing not one, not two, but three shiny new posts in honour of Blogging Against Disablism Day 2013. This event allows people from all over the world to unite, writing on the theme of disability in our less than perfect society. The perspectives are as broad as you can possibly get, and I hope that my thoughts will help towards creating an interesting snapshot of the lives of disabled people in 2013.
<br />
<br />
So come back tomorrow for my three posts in honour of #BADD2013!<br />
<br />Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3490591351917330431.post-27457501344965771852013-04-22T22:37:00.000+01:002013-04-22T22:37:18.361+01:00WelcomeWelcome to my new blog!
Just the other day, I got legally married. For rather complicated reasons, the marriage will not be complete until the end of July. Even so, I was too excited to wait and have taken my brides' online name. So, for most of the time, online I shall be - Mister Goldfish - a moniker I am extremely happy with.
Expect more soon, especially as Blogging Against Disablism Day 2013 is coming.Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331328830331475628noreply@blogger.com0